How to bring some things up to a guy?

So I meet this guy almost 8 months ago, we ended up having sex the first night...well he was my first so I kinda got attached. We still talk and hang out and had still been messing around when I would visit him up til about 4wks ago and that was the last time we messed around. Last time I was there was bad we got in a huge fight, leading to us both being pissed and then I ended up in the same bed and next morning I gave him a hj/bj then he left (he is the one who started the stuff and woke me but then he placed my hand there then not mean like but pushed my head down... but now its more complacatied Because I need somewhere to live or its I move home again, he offered for me to rent his spare room and I really want to but not sure its a good idea. He has made it clear friends with benefits is over yet when he doesn't get laid he gets grumpy and takes it out on me when I have offered to "help"... and as much as I tell everyone I don't like him somehow I do... and I'm afraid if he brings a girl home its going to be really hard to just let it go and not bring a guy home just to make him jealous (which he has got that way be4 just by me txting a guy) but he claims he doesn't like me and everything which I respect. I wanna move into his extra room because its cheap rent and it's better than moving home, but I don't know how to talk to him about the fact that the first few times he has a girl over I'm probably going to get jealous, or how to tell him that for the first week or two its going to be a little rough getting used to each others boundries but I can't know if you don't tell me when I do something that's upsetting you... I need advice on how to talk to him or if me still having feelings and what's been going on if its a bad idea to move in with him.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should lay it all out BEFORE moving in, if that is what you end up doing. Just say what you said here -- the jealousy factor, the boundaries concern, the prospect of another man even while still coping with the jealousy factor, and so on.

    Remember though, even if you communicate it, this will be a relationship based on using one another. Using him for low rent is a perk, but its still using him. Well, all is fair in love and war they say - people use each other all the time. The problem is, if the rent goes up or something he is using you for dries up, the deal could be off. Your living with him would be so tightly linked to mutable circumstances that you are looking at a house of cards for a foundation.

    I'm not saying you should or shouldn't take it, but if you do, don't let yourself get surprised if the whole thing bombs out on you -- or at least make a contigency plan.


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What Guys Said 2

  • It depends.

    I suggest you just straight up tell him. I would much rather, if I was the guy in the situation, for you to just tell me how it is. Maybe he'll realize he's been a mega douche and things will get better.

    After you have told him, watch his reaction. If he's okay and is reasonable, willing to talk etc. then see how it goes.

    If you don't feel comfortable or if he over-reacts or doesn't take it well, move home. It will be far better in the long run.

    He's obviously not good enough for you by the way he treats you, so it's up to you if you want to move on to something better or if you're willing to struggle on and see how it goes.

  • It's a bad idea to move in with him. It's clear that he's only up for sex with you.


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