Why is my girlfriend no longer affectionate?

Hi everyone! I'm involved in a relationship of nearly 8 months with an amazing girl and we're both really happy. Well, sorta.

For the first few months we talked and the first 2 we dated, she was very affectionate and personal with me, we could talk about anything and we both naturally showed our affection for each other. We kissed constantly, got each other cute little gifts, made little love notes, sent sweet texts just cause etc. We just clicked and you can tell we thought about each other all the time. However, about 2 months into our relationship she began to act strange, she gradually showed less and less affection, initiated little conversation, hardly joked around, and wasn't the same. One day, she told me she had began talking to her ex boyfriend again and we broke up for a night before she apologized and everything. afterward, she was fine again. That is, until a few months ago.

Recently she's been taking my jokes seriously (rather than playing along like she used to), never initiating intimate contact, and appearing less excited or appreciative of my compliments or actions towards her day by day. It's bizarre, as it almost appears her mood changes when she transitions from her friends to me. If I approach her as she's saying goodbye to a friend, her face changes from a happy smile to an emotionless gaze with a short, uninterested conversation to follow. We can't talk about anything like we used to, and our conversations are vague and impersonal. Unlike her endless compliments during our first months, I usually receive critical and harsh comments. This isn't the way she acted when we broke up, as she isn't afraid to kiss me or say she loves me and she says she's very happy, but she just seems so playful when she does kiss me (no passion anymore, just pecks) and her words lack the emotion that she used to have ("I love you more than anything in the world, you're perfect :) :* <3" to "love you" via text). Before I felt like I was all she can think about, now it seems that she hardly thinks of me.

I haven't done anything to bring about this to my know, I've been told I'm a very sweet, loving boyfriend and she has even told me I'm not being clingy so that's out of the question. I rub her back whenever she needs it, get her presents like I used to, compliment her, compromise to her wishes etc.

I honestly can live without all the physical aspects I'm missing. I just want to hear her say she loves me like she used to, make little notes for me and just show that she is thinking about me and that she cares and appreciates me. And I'm not asking for that all the time like it was during our premier months, but at least more than once a month like it is now. Affection like this in relationships is important to me and the way she's acting makes me think that she only acted that way to get me. I would ask her about this but she takes offense easily and we usually end up fighting when I try to talk to her about issues now.

Any help is appreciated :)


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  • It must be that she's getting bored in your relationship, or she starts to see some other guy.

    Best way to counter this is to rejuvenate things through getting out a lot together.

    Spend time with her. Go to beaches, hike mountains, go watch movies, have dinner dates and go star seeing.

  • Girls typically dump their boyfriends quite some time after it's "officially" over in their minds... could be weeks or even months. It sounds like your relationship has passed that unfortunate threshold, so prepare yourself for hearing something on the order of "we need to talk" or "I need some space" in the near future.


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