It's been a year, why am I still caught up?

So here goes. It's been a year since my ex husband left me for the last time. He left me eight times in our four month long marriage. He was very emotionally abusive that started to spill over into physical altercations. I went through all the legal headache of getting a restraining order and the divorce which was finalized in October. Why am I still upset and feeling horrible over it when it's over and time to move on?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, a failed marriage is a downer no matter what the reason is for it ending. You had hopes and dreams, and probably feel very disappointed that the person you loved would hurt you, and a promise that was made was broken. That's entirely normal, and an abusive relationship can be scarring. You may also feel a lot of fear and anxiety because of the way he treated you. The important thing to remember is: You are not alone! there are many other women who have gone through the same exact situation, who have come out of it just fine. Do not let this situation define you, because the abuse and disappointment you encountered is not who you are, nor does it have any power in what you choose to do in your life from here on out. Not all men are like him, he was just one bad seed, and that's okay! we all encounter men like that at some point in our lives, weather it be in passing, in a friendship, or in a romance. All can be hurtful to us, but remember that it is THEIR problem, not OURS!

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    • Also, I want to clarify that there are women who can be just as hurtful, not just men. If any man has been through an abusive relationship, It applies to you as well!

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're wondering why you made the decision to marry him, why you didn't see his abusive side earlier on, and why you made yourself into a cautionary tale for your single friends and, probably, a lot of your family, right?

    Try to answer these questions; until you do, you'll have difficulty moving on.

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  • It's because he was your husband and you thought that it could last forever. When the opposite happened, it's just fun to be so distraught and upset.

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What Girls Said 2

  • because maybe its taking you this long to get over the initial shock,and something my trigger these thoughts

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  • What you're going through is natural. It'll probably take another year to heal. You're doing fine.. just keep pushing through.

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