Wait or move on from a 6 monther?

So I have been with this girl for six months, and really love her. She and I really connect. Anyways, she is fillipino and her family follows the fillipino dating culture closely. I am not fillipino, and considering she was born there, it has become a problem. We have been together over six months, and I am yet to meet them. The fillipino dating culture from what I understand, based on where she is from in the phillipines, they go much slower then we do in America. I am not use to the pace she wants to go at, so it is often times hard for me to go as slow as she wants to go, and I am not just talking about sex related things either because I willingly gave that up for her. This makes it a real challenge for me, especially because very few people understand it. Even my school social worker could not help me with this. I have had several challenges making it work up until now, and so has she because she has had to hide me. Now, she not only has me going to my senior prom dateless, but we are going through some stuff. She has needed time to think, so we have not really talked in the past 2-3 weeks, and I am going to see her tomorrow because she is ready to talk. From what she said the last time, and her friends telling me & trying to help, she feels like we jumped into this to quick and she wants to slow down, and plus it has become a real challenge to hide me. I am not allowed to meet her family or move any steps further. She is 19 almost 20, and I am 19 and turn 20 a few months after her. Her friends say she wants to take a step back, become closer friends and possibly build back up. I am unsure of if it is worth it to wait for this girl with all the challenges, or move on. Part of me wants to wait, but part of me wants to move on because of the stress. I really love her, but I don't know what to do. She is either going to say it's over, or most likely ask me to wait for her, and see what happens. Do I wait for her and take the stress of all this, or move on once again and find someone new?

broke it off with her...I could not handle it


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What Girls Said 1

  • i think it's best that you anticipate that most likely even if her parents will accept your relationship unless married I doubt that she will be allowed to live together with you, there will be no sleepover and she can't just go anywhere with you, so by now you decide if you're OK or can hold on to such relationship "set up" cause if you can't, what's the point of waiting if she ask you to wait... well of course she can always make alibi and excuses to her parents but still it's different if both of you can do freely whatever you want to do. if she's allowed to live independently it would be less hard but then again what I mentioned above still applies..

    if you're stress, how much more to her.. here in my country though we are not that stress and there's no much drama lol cause the guys already know and accepted what it's gonna be like because of course it's our own culture. some even get some kind of euphoria out of it when we outwit the circumstances and the parents :D. not to mention the thrill. before I somehow hide my boyfriend too but dealing with my strict dad was the least of my concern, it was never a big problem to me. at the end of the day no matter how strict they are, usually they have no choice but to accept. :)

    • @update : aww :(.. well both of you are still young and I think there are many interesting and good girls in your place so finding someone new wouldn't be that hard.

What Guys Said 1

  • If it causes too much stress and drama for you to be in a relationship with her, you should just find someone new.

    Though if you know that she's the only girl whom can make you happy, then waiting is perfect.