This week he had one of his supervisors get him in trouble and it really crushed his ego. This week was also finals week for me so we were both stressed and haven't seen each other all week.
Today out of the blue, he calls me and tells me he wants to break up because he wants to be single. He was in a horrible 5 year relationship that ended several months before we started our relationship. He dated another girl before me so I was not the rebound.
He says he still cares about me, wants to be with me, wants me in his life (still wants to talk and hang out), but he can't be boyfriend/girlfriend right now. Basically he asked for space. His ex was really controlling and demanding and I think he thinks that relationships are all like that, so he may be psyching himself out. He also said that he's 100% sure that we will work out, he just needs some space to think and enjoy his life without feeling like he has to answer to someone... he used the analogy of a bachelor party lol
I talked with his mom and she says he is really torn up and he cares about me.
So what do you think? Chances of me and him getting back together?
*** PLEASE provide reasoning why!*** Thank you!
- Yes... explain
- No... explain
- Maybe... explain
- Other... explain
Most Helpful Guy
First off, I want to clarify the definition of rebound. A rebound relationship is a relationship that one enters into before one has come to complete terms with a previous long term deeply emotional relationship. Generally these type relationships (rebounds) come before the person has fully healed emotionally and come to terms that it is actually over.
With that being out there, true, you're not "the" rebound girl, but perhaps "a rebound girl" meaning that even though he saw a girl before he met and entered into a relationship with you, he still hasn't come to terms with his loss of the relationship which has him emotionally in turmoil.
This is primarily the reason why he's wanting to backslide out of a relationship with you at the moment. Don't get me wrong, as this has nothing to do with you as a woman, or his feelings for you. Basically it has something to do with his emotional turmoil. He really needs to heal from the closure of his relationship with the girl he was so deeply involved in. He needs to complete his disassociation emotionally with her before he can fully emotionally be available to someone new. Until that happens, he will continue to backslide.
He most likely felt he was over her when entering in a relationship with you but it's clear he isn't. He most likely wants to pt things on hold so he can sort these emotions out. Additionally to that he still has to work out some baggage issues. His analogy of a "bachelor party" in regard to where he is in his life could be an indicator that he finds relationships a bit smothering and restrictive. Quite often one of the things that goes through one's mind after a failed relationship is "Is a relationship really worth it?" In which case he also has other issues to sort out within himself.
I don't want to use the term "damaged goods" but clearly he may be still "wounded" and there is no doubt he needs space at the moment. It is also pretty clear he sees some very good qualities within you to not totally call it quits and is hoping that he can still stay in communication and grow with you so that when he is indeed ready things will have a better chance of working out between the both of you.
If you truly care for him, the best thing you can do is give him that space, but still communicate with him and be supportive of him emotionally. If you have been sexually active with him before, it would be a good idea to stop and explain to him that it's not that you like him any less, but that you reserve that for someone you're in a relationship with and additionally you don't want to confuse him while he's recovering from his relationship.
The chances of you getting back together with him will increase based on how often and how well you both interact with one another. The more supportive, the closer he will keep you. If you distance yourself from him then it will most likely distance his emotional attachment toward you as well and decrease the possibility of a reunion.2
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