If you loved somone and had a child with them would you move away with them for work?

My boyfriend just got a job offer but the thing is I'm in a city that I have grown up in my whole life and 99% of my family is within 20 min driving distance, This job offer would take us any where from and hour too an hour and a half away from our family's, and we won't really know many people there. I don't really drive ( I'm re-learning and have to have him with me at all times).

We have a 4 month old baby together and this job could make it so I can stay home with her for longer BUT he may be working longer hours and may not always be home at night. Should I encourage him to take the job and we move or should I stay where I am?
  • Move away
    Vote A
  • Stay put
    Vote B
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24

Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh, stay where you are.

    I'm sure your kid in fifteen years will be like, "Mom, I'm so glad you told Dad to move away and decided living around your family was more important, because who likes having two parents or a normal family, anyway? It was totally worth it to be around my cousins, etc, instead of you moving and being a stay at home mom and having our own family."

    Oh, wait... no, she won't. You can drive the 90 minutes every week to go visit your parents/brothers/etc, and make new friends in your town and have a real family with your boyfriend, or you can take the easy comfortable route, never mind that your daughter will grow up with issues about men, since she didn't have a real father around. (Backed up by about a million studies about kids...)

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    • First off all I didn't say I would tell him to go and I would stay here, second of all I was raised by a single mother and I turned out perfectly fine... those million studies about kids are not about 100% of kids who grew up without their father around, I don't have issues with men, and the trip to go see my family would end up being more like 3 hours on either a greyhound or on city bus's. I still had a "normal family" so before you judge think that not all families have 2 parents anymore.

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    • Best answer. And get a drivers license.

    • I have a licence I just don't drive much lately and I have someone 25 or older with a full licence with me at all times while driving

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What Guys Said 3

  • If necessary, I would move yeah.

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  • Of course. Someone has to be the super-career oriented bread winner. Someone has to be the one willing to relocate and follow. You can not have both. On rare, and in emphasize rare, occasions, two super-career oriented people can make it work if they both work at the same place. The likeliness that will happen is very slim. And seriously, you're worried about an hour and a half commute? I once moved with a girl HALF WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY because she got a job offer she couldn't refuse. In this economy, you take what you can get, and that often involves moving.

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    • Me and him would never be able to work at the same company, he drives trucks for a living and I'm a childcare provider, I have moved a province away with a guy before and that was a disaster.

      I'm more worried about my daughter possibly not seeing her dad very often because in winter he may be working 12-18 hour days if not more.

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    • It is simple. People always try to over-complicate things, and that's how a lot of bad decisions are made. Either you move to stay with your husband, you suffer the consequences of a long distance relationship, or you break up. There's no other real options. So now again, ask yourself what's more important.

    • Me and him have been together over 2 years now, we have had our fair share of fights over things like money, friends, ex's popping back into the future(his ex tried to sleep with him while I was in the hospital from having a baby), He thinks I should stay home and take care of our daughter but I know I have to get back to work to be able to keep living, I would love to be able to stay at home but I would rather have a happy child who see's her daddy often

  • You really need to encourage him to get that job.

    The baby needs your attention and you can't afford to work.

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    • Why can't I afford to work exactly? My daughter would be where I work as a childcare provider...

What Girls Said 2

  • whatever works for you ,but you can't always hang on to where you live because of family..u can always go visit,your obligation is to your immediate family (baby and BF)on the nights he won't be home you could go back and visit your family,its not too far away.

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  • Sadly, they're not your immediate family anymore - your child and the father are.

    If it's better for the three of you, you should move.

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