I've decided to break up with my boyfriend of 4 months. He's a great guy, and goes out of his way for me but I think he's too much some times. We both have really important exams in 2 weeks, and he has a potential promotion at work which he needs to "study up" for in order to have a chance at it.
I want to end things after the exams and he is promoted. How should I do it? Should I just end things now instead? If not should I still show him affection so he doesn't think anything is wrong and can still stay focused? I was thinking about still calling him babe and showing him that I care, but I'm worried it'll back fire. He is making plans involving the two of us but he would need to purchase tickets for these plans. Should I agree to go and just pay him back after? Since I'm sure after the break up he won't want me to go anymore.
Most Helpful Guy
Why women are determined to end relationships with guys they describe as "great guys" is something I will never entirely understand...
Is it because there's no challenge in the relationship anymore? Or because you're sure there must be someone better out there for you?
If I were the "great guy", I would want to know the reason. I would want to know what I did wrong. Thinking that I did something wrong, or that you simply just got bored of me one day, would hurt the most. More than the actual break-up itself.
If you want to make it easier on him, you owe it to him to explain as logically and clearly why you want to break-up. Don't lie and pretend everything is fine until the moment is right, and drop a bomb.
What you instead want to do is slowly but confidently pull away from him. Start by telling him to cancel the plans and not to purchase those tickets. You don't have to tell him why right now. Just tell him that you're having mixed feelings about going, and while you're extremely flattered by his thoughtfulness, you don't want him to waste the effort or money on the trip while you're not sure if you can go.
Tell him that his exams and promotion are what should be most important to him now. If he starts to grow concerned that he is going to lose you, tell him that you have some things you want to discuss him when the time is right, but they're not important now and he should be focusing on the promotion instead.
This is how you can be supportive of him without lying to him, and leading him to believe everything is alright.1
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