When you think someone is as into you as you are into him, but I've just read the signals wrong :(, what to do

Really liked this guy and thought he liked me back (sent out the signs he was into me, flirting, touching, holding, talking, laughing joking etc)

However, just recently tried to get into contact with him (its been a few months since we last talked) and nothing back. Our first meeting although we hit it off, we were both too shy to make the next move. Now I have summoned up the courage to contact him and he hasn't responded and feel quite crappy since I really thought he liked me :(

How do I move on? I really really like him, even though he obviously doesn't feel the same.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, people are fickle, both men and women.

    You should not assume that you read the signs wrong (guys are very aware of when they're flirting) but rather that he changed his mind, as some guys do. There are guys that change their mind at least half as much as many women do, which is still too much.

    He probably met or got interested in someone else in those few months that you weren't talking.

    First of all, make sure he actually got your message. Sometimes when I'm really busy, I don't check messages that frequently. Second, make sure he's had enough time to think how to reply. If he does or did like you, it may take him a while to reply.

    But assuming neither case is true, then he's doing that stupid thing where he thinks it's better not to reply because he's moved on. Then forget about him. I know it's difficult, but if someone cannot bother replying, then they're not worth your emotional energy. That's at least how I feel. You should not look for him to come around, because you want someone who would treat you better than that.

    As far as I'm concerned, if it's not okay for me to ignore a friend, then it's also not okay for me to ignore someone I like or once liked.

    If he's going to treat you like that, then you're better off without him. Moving on is always tough, but remind yourself that you deserve better. Find someone who will treat you better.

    • Thank you, that's true, but it still hurts :(

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    • How well do you know him?

      I wouldn't take it too personally, because even if he did like you, he couldn't know that you felt the same way unless you two were already very close. You want to believe that you're the only woman he ever fancied, but then he'd be foolish to pass up all the other women in the world when you didn't even talk to him for months.

      He should have replied though, so I'm sorry he did not. Maybe he will come back to you someday, but don't wait for him.

    • Not well tbh

      I don't know when we were together I felt like we had a special connection, I'm obviously reading too much into something that wasn't there :(

      Thanks you shouldn't apologize on his behalf.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You should just block contact with him, and seek a new guy so that you won't think much about this guy. That's the fastest way to move on.

    • I try but he's just randomly appeared so I've thought about him again. Harder than it seems I'm afraid :(

  • You didn't have any contact with him for months and then one day, out of the blue, you had contact with him and wanted to meet up with him (for coffee? Or some sort of non-sexual hang out?)

    I'm guessing he's scared that you are going to take the piss out of him or that you never were interested in him - either way, seems like the guy is shy and you'll have to 'fess up to your feelings to him and hope that a) he doesn't think that you are joking & b) that you really read him correctly

    • Well no not meet up, it was just a general hey how are you? msg.

      I don't know I really thought he liked me when we first met, he was so into me and now I don't get it. He can't be that shy, I just feel like crap atm.

    • "He can't be that shy"

      OOooohhhhhhhhhh yes he can :) (I am)

      Ask him upfront what he thinks about you, just "Hey, what do you think about me?" and/or "Do you like me?"

  • Maybe he does like you. You don't really know either way. The fact is you haven't spoken to him in a few months. He could just as easily be thinking, "If she liked me, she wouldn't have not contacted me for all these months".

    It sounds like you fear rejection, so you'd rather not take the risk. That's a bad way to approach life. Just be clear with him how you feel. From the sound of it, if he rejects you, you don't ever have to talk to him again anyway.

    • No I don't fear rejection, I'm OK with it tbh, he just hasn't responded to me yet and I sent him a message this morning.

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    • Well, haha. That's like saying if you really liked him, you wouldn't have not contacted him for all these months. Human relationships are more complicated than that.

    • I never had his details before so only got them recently hence why I got in contact.

What Girls Said 1

  • maybe he has a gf...if he doesn't contact you then you have your answer as far as level of interest,don't sweat it,there are many more bottom feeders in the pond,find yourself a real man.

    • What do you mean by bottom feeders?

    • it means douche bag guys are everywhere,bottom feeders refers to the fish that eat and live in crap on the bottom of ponds and lakes..,= douche bags like your so called ex...good guys are harder to find but they are out there