How does this sound for a short story?

Basically, the plot of the short story is... A man in the armed forces breaks the heart of a lover that was unstable to begin with, but somehow able to keep her life together, until he breaks her. He's lead her on completely, just for sex, because of her innocence she falls for the man. Well, she doesn't take the break up too well, (was already unstable) so she breaks into her ex's apartment. A bloody mess from the shattered glass from the window she takes his shot gun and blows her brains out on the bed they once shared together.

The man comes home to find her dead and falls to tears. The reason why he broke it off with her was to give her the freedom that she deserves, because he was being deployed. He was never very good at communicating his feelings and failed to see how messed up his ex really was.

How does that sound for a short story?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Dear Shameneyes,

    Go for it!

    It depends on your writing skill.

    Steven King says to write your first draft, then remove at least 20% of the words.

    Use active verbs.

    Keep it tight.



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What Guys Said 1

  • That's quite a story. There's a lot of information, and kind of condensed. This should do.


What Girls Said 1

  • If you want to write, write! Who cares what anyone else thinks!


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