My boyfriend cheated on me and now everyone feels pities me, it's annoying

I live in a small town and go to an even smaller college next to it. It's the south, it's conservative and gossip travels fast.

And since they all found out, they hate him and pity me.

Whenever I talk to people they make it so obvious they're so so sorry. Everyone is really friendly and helpfull, it's too much. People drop by at my house to bring me cookies, pie or sweet tea. All drinks I had in hte past week were on the house and about 5 guys offered to "accidentaly" shoot him in the leg.

Idk, I'm from Chicago, so maybe that's normal here, but I feel they're just doing it because they feel sorry for me and they think I'm that sweet little girl that needs their help.

I'm not sure how to respond to that? I don't want to be constantly reminded of it, but what do you say to people who bring your favorite homebaked cookies?

This all making getting over him really hard

Also I don't even hate him. I'm hurt and I would never get back together but I'll get over it and I think he's being judged a bit harshly.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Shooting is probably too good for him..

    But you're in a small town now, and that's what most of them are like...I know it's sort of patronizing since they don't even know you that well, but they all mean well, so don't rain on their parade.

    Accept the free drinks and thank the people offering to shoot him. They don't really mean that, anyway. Not most of them.

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    • I know they're not being serious but people constantly bringing it up just makes it hard to forget him

    • I'm afraid that they'lnever forget nor forgive, and yes, that must be hard on you, since you need to forget, if not forgive. You may have to move to another small town, or to the big city. Girls with a 'past' have bee doing that since time began..

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What Guys Said 3

  • Honestly, I don't think he can be judged too harshly. Heck, if I knew there was that type of accountability, I should move to a small town.

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  • He's being judged harshly because what he did is a great disrespect and rude.

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  • 'I think he's being judged a bit harshly.'

    Why?

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    • well it must be hard having everyone around you hating you. They don't trust him with anything anymore.

      Also I don't think hating someone is the way to go

    • I wouldn't trust him with anything either.

    • idk he lost his job over it, but I guess it's really not my problem

What Girls Said 3

  • Welcome to small towns. You can't cheat in a small town as the song goes because everyone will know before the sun rises the next morning. Just smile and thank them. They mean well.

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  • im from the south. theyre just bein nice. they pity you. would you rather they laugh at you? lol

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    • No, I know they're being nice, it just makes it hard to get over it

    • oh. well just make an effort to look like you aren't bothered at all. I hope you find a better guy:)

  • I think the faster you look like you're over it and focusing on other things (at least outwardly), the sooner they'll move on from it too. Be polite and thank them if they give you things, but when they express how sorry they are you can say "It's okay, you don't have to pity me. I'm actually glad I found out this is the way he is, and now I just want to move on and forget about it." or something to that effect. Also, I wouldn't view their actions and words as signs that they pity you, just see it as them being empathetic and compassionate with a strong sense of community.

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