Bouncing back from a break up?

My boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me 5 days ago. He said that he still likes me, wants to be with me, and everything going to be fine between us, he just needs time and space away from the mental 'demands' of a relationship considering he just got out of a 5 year relationship a couple months ago. He feels he didn't get that much time to be single, and he didn't expect to find someone that he likes as much as me and can see a future with. He doesn't want to date any other girls or mess around either.

Since that happened, he has been texting/calling me like normal. Texting me good morning and night, asking me how my day is, and what I'm doing. It's like nothing has changed, except I'm letting him initiate every text/call. I don't want to ignore him, but it's confusing since he needed space and time to begin with. He said that he wants me in his life, so it's hard for him to not talk to me.

Yesterday he texted me, "I just wanted to say thank you for being so understanding, and being a great person to me. You're just a special kind of person. Just wanted you to know." And said that he has been thinking about us and sorting things out.

Today he called me and called me babe before we got off the phone. We made plans to go to a movie this Thursday and plans to go to a baseball game in a couple of weeks.

Communication is picking up and is even better than when we together. It feels like we are on the way to getting back together, if not getting back to dating. What do you think?

I plan on just enjoying time with him and letting the relationship naturally evolve. Any advice on how to act so I don't push him away or pressure him?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah... It pretty much seems to me like he had the thought that he never had his time to "recover" and didn't want you to be part of that turmoil. And so he communicated that thought. And the moment that he communicated it, a large part of that sensation got out of his system. Now I'm not saying that you two will definitely get back together... officially anyway. I'm just saying that if I could gamble on your situation with actual money, I would put every penny on it working out. Just let it go the way it is going, especially if it is basically the same as when you two were together. It makes him feel like he is moving at the pace he wants to, which makes him feel better. If anything, slowly initiate with him more as if he feels he always has to be the starter he may feel like you are not interested anymore.

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    • I texted him good morning today and I asked him if he wanted to hang out this week. He chose the time and the activity. I told him I was going to buy him baseball tickets for his birthday, but I didn't know which game to get them for. When we broke up it seemed like we weren't going to go to the game anymore, but today he brought it up. He started doing 'future talk', you know including the other person in your plans again. I just don't want to smother him either. He asked for space and time...

    • I have to agree with martyfellow. Just keep things going as they are and it will go back (except better). You've got this lol, no worries.

    • Thank you :) I was hoping that it wasn't all in my head! Now that guys agree with me that this is a good thing, I feel a lot better! :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • You are doing fine without our advice...keep on being a friend to him, and don;t ask him to paste an official title on your being together. Just enjoy the baseball, and any other games you play!

    I'd keep mum about how you are doing with friends. Let them wonder. You don't want distorted versions of what you tell them getting back to him over the grapevine!

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    • Thanks! I've just never been in this situation, so this is uncharted territory for me and it's so scary because I like him so much. We don't have any mutual friends so you don't have to worry about things getting back to him!

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    • Yeah, that's why I'm freaking out so much because every single time a guy has broken it off or asked for space, it has not ended well. This is a completely different story! His mom seems to think that we are going to get married :) I don't know if I'm ready for that quite yet!

    • Usually, you're right, asking for space is a cover for 'I want to date a hot girl much younger than me.'

      But ti doesn't sound like this is one of those times to me.

  • My suggestion is to be blunt and candid: "I'm confused... I thought we broke up, but communication hasn't changed." Does this mean you changed your mind?

    Or, the typical devious girl, evil, naughty reaction (that I shouldn't have to tell you):

    Be really really, really slow to return any texts or voice mails, and be unavailable on Friday and Saturday nights.

    It's up to you.

    But if I were a girl: I'd certainly cut him off (so to speak)!

    ! D

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    • By the way:

      1. You are SUPER cute, and

      2. There a lot of guys!

      D

    • I've already kinda asked him about the communication and he says he still wants me in his life, that it's not an official break up because he wants to get back together, he just needs some time and space for himself to work on things.

  • Just be yourself. If it's meant to work out, it will.

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