My boyfriend joined the Airforce, he is leaving in three months, should I break up with him?

Heya Everyone,

My boyfriend joined the Airforce before I was together with him. He didn't have a ship date, but recently got one. We have been together for about 3 months now. He leaves in September for boot camp.

He offered on one occasion for me to stay with him through boot camp and then when he comes back we can talk about it and see what we want to do. With the possibility of me moving in with him. I did some research and the only way I could move with him on base is to get married. I'm 23 years old, I don't want to get married.

Since the breakup seems imminent, should I break up with him now or in September, or should I stick it out and wait through boot camp.

Thank you for reading this and giving your advice.

0|0
44

Most Helpful Girl

  • I've dated a lot of military guys because of where I live. And a lot have gotten orders to move, most didn't mention anything about trying to stay together when they left. Yours has- so I think it's pretty safe to say he cares about you very much, now you just need to decide how much you care about him. After boot camp he will go to a school then after that he will get stationed somewhere and stay anywhere up to four years, boot camp in 6 weeks and a school is 9 if I remember correctly- that's not too horribly long to wait and you could find an apartment and job in whatever city he gets stationed at. The main problem will be his living situation. Unless he goes in as an officer he will be in barracks... And you can't get on base, that's hard. My boyfriend is a marine and the marnies like single marines to live in barracks so they are on base for any catastrophe. He's got the rank to be able to leave if he was in the navy but he's not... So we have to meet somewhere, I leave my car there, he picks me up, then brings me back to my car in the morning or he picks me up at home. So that's a huge hassle. And once again you really must think of how much he means to you

    1|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I have a similar job and I'm away a lot and it's ended every relationship I've been in, it sucks... But I've found that other guys in my job have long term girlfriends, and I've not met more than a handful who don't repeatedly cheat on their other half because they move around bases a lot. Best thing is they don't think they are cheating, they say, oh we're in different areas so it doesn't count, or kissing isn't cheating... I'd suggest breaking up with him if you were having doubts anyway, it'd be better than leaving it ages. Because you'll feel like you've wasted a bit of time thinking it over and he'll will probably think you've cheated on him because you're breaking up with him while he's probably still away.

    2|0
    0|0
    • Wow Jonny, I'm sorry to hear that! My ex boyfriend was in the military, we broke up because he decided he wanted out and was moving across the country and didn't want me to come with him. I never cheated on him during the 2 years we were together. But unfortunately we were in the minority. My ex would tell me about his friends who's gf's and wives cheated on them. Unfortunately some people can't handle the separation :S It always makes me sad to hear stuff like that, but unfortunately it's reality :(

    • Yes, I'm quitting my job because of it... I can't stick being a single guy.

  • Go ahead and break up, so he doesn't have to deal with it when you cheat on him.

    1|1
    2|0
  • So, what happened? Did you do it?...

    0|0
    0|0
    • I spoke with him, and I decided that I should at least give him a shot. He told me he really wanted to be with me, and that he didn't want to break up. I would just be selfish if I didn't give him a chance just like he is trying to do for me. Thank you for asking! <3

  • Yes, you should talk this out with him, and try to steer your conversation into a breakup. That's your only choice.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I think you should definitely talk to him about this. Let him know that you are not ready for marriage. It's unfortunate for him, but he will get over it. It's better for you to be open and honest with him if you are not ready.

    Being a military girlfriend is hard. There is a lot of stress, worry and time apart that you have to deal with.

    I used to date a guy who was in the military. We didn't break up because he was in the military. We broke up because he was leaving the military to find another job, and was moving across the country. I wanted to go with him, but he didn't want me to go, so we broke up. In the 2 years we were together he would go away on occasion for training missions and other work.

    It's definitely not easy when your boyfriend is away. But if you know for a fact you are not ready for marriage, break it off with him. It's only fair that he has a chance to find someone who can handle the lifestyle.

    It's the same for you, you deserve to find someone who isn't wanting marriage right away as you don't feel ready, and that's perfectly okay as well! It's better to be honest with yourself about it, than to lie and hope that your feelings change and end up making a mistake.

    Definitely break up with him as soon as possible. It will be the best for both of you. Obviously this is a huge problem in your relationship and looks like it will be a deal breaker.

    Break up's are never easy, but at least you are being honest about how you feel.

    1|0
    0|0
  • none of us can answer you this... Do you love him? like him? you have to figure this out yourself. If you want to be with him just stay with him and see where it goes.

    And if you have doubts it's better to let him go now, so it's easier for him to leave.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Stick it out

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...