Are we still together? Were we never?

I started seeing this guy. Things were really great, he introduced me to his friends, I even met his mom, but he didn't introduce me as his girlfriend. Slowly, he started pointing out my flaws. then he broke up with me, saying he was no good for me (he has very low self esteem). I really had it bad for the guy, so when he begged me to stay friends I couldn't say no. He wanted sex, and pretty much EVERYTHING to stay the exact same as when we were together. And it has! He still begs me to come over to jam on the guitar, watch TV shows, just be there with him, even spend the night any chance he can talk me into it. He looks me in the eyes during sex, kisses me deeply, and holds me after. He tells me he loves me for gods sake! He calls me MULTIPLE times a day and freaks out if I don't answer. He acts jealous when I go out, but tries to play it cool. Just a lot of snide remarks. He is not making a peep about wanting to get back together, and I am not sure what to do. I don't know if we never really broke up, or were never really together in the first place... I am in love with him, and the uncertainty is really painful. He plays hot and cold a lot...
BTW, this has been going on for about 9 months now. The first time he called us a couple, then three months later he broke up with me. then he wanted to get back together after about two weeks. Then three months later he broke up with me while drunk. I went to his place the next day and picked up my stuff. it has been four months now. even tho he calls all the time, he seems almost disinterested. SO CONFUSING!
Oh gosh, I meant he acts jealous when I go on dates. With other men. Not out like with friends.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ok first off if you can't go a whole day without thinking about him don't give up on what ever it is that you guys have.Second,make him take you serious if you're in love with him don't just give him sex make him work for it.Also let him know how you're feeling and maybe even scare him a bit by telling him that you're not looking to play games and that's what it seems he's doing with the whole on & off thing.Also let him know that its not what he wants even if you obviously like what's going on tell him that he can always get it his way and break up with you whenever.He does play hot & cold but I think you can change that and really talk to him so both of you guys can better understand each other.Good luck hun !

    • can't always get it his way *

    • Even after all this, His name will cross my mind suddenly in the middle of the day, several times a day. Just his name. with no warning. So you say I should give him an ultimatum? All or nothing? I sometimes wonder if he is trying to protect me from himself, but can't let me go. How do I make him see that HE is my choice? And that he needs to let me choose who I love.

    • Just don't let him use you.Whatever it is that's going on with him it doesn't matter because you matter more.Make him understand that he can't just get with you then break up when ever he feels like it.If he really likes you for you than he'll get a little shaken with the slightest idea of losing you.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you're together, but just as friends with benefits.


What Girls Said 3

  • F*** NO. He wants all of the benefits of a relationship without being tied down, as crude as that. It's selfish and unfair. Why would you want that, at your age. Don't get your hopes up, she's not treating you as you deserve. I'd end things and stop contact with this guy, in your position.

  • Jeezzz New love shouldn't be like this! RUN FOR THE TREES! ALARM BELLS ARE RINGING!

    It take two years to get to know some one xxx

    But ALL this before hand it's just too soon!

    He is insecure and likes the fact that you will jump tyo his wishing and he doesn't actually have to be in a relationship to f*** you. YAY him! (said for effect)

    In short he is using you!

    Change you number and find someone new. He will make a very controlling boyfriend and guys like him belong in the zoo!

    • So you think he doesn't actually love me? Just wants to get some, huh... I really am seriously considering walking away from him. That sucks because when I am with him I feel like I never have before. and I am NO spring chicken. Thanks for the advice.

    • Show All
    • Do you think I should give him an ultimatum, like the other answer suggested?

    • Sweetie just say no to him he is use=ing you. HE IS AN ASS HOLE xxx

      he gets too insecure and jelous. and then states that he is not your boyfriend WTF the boy is confused with a capital CON!

  • Nope


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