It's completely illogical, but I can't get my ex of 6 months off my mind. What's wrong with me?

I've dated since this guy... two not serious and one more serious guy. I can't get my ex out of my mind. I miss him.

We broke up 6-7 months ago. I should be long over this.

We broke up for many good reasons and we were much happier apart, but it was the worst breakup I have ever gone through.

He was kind of controlling. It was mild, but enough... He was extremely picky too. I shouldn't miss him, but I really do. He hated all vegetables, fruits, coffee, alcohol, lace etc. He didn't believe in anything "mind altering" so no coffee or alcohol. He also said he'd never say "I miss you" because he overused that with his last girlfriend. One time, I curled my hair and he whined that he preferred straight hair. He was very... if I do x you need to do y. He was never very "go with the flow." One mistake and you were out. I was afraid that if I really pissed him off he'd go crazy or something. He hated when I was emotional. I had to be perfectly happy all the time it seemed. If I was upset, he'd come over and drive me around for a while and kind of... make me feel like I shouldn't have the feelings I did. I was so confused by his actions that at the time I didn't see it as meaning anything... One night, when I really just couldn't take it anymore, I got REALLY emotional on purpose. I mean, I WAS upset, but I just let everything out. The next day, he dumped me. He acted like everything was fine... and then showed up and just said it was over and he wanted 0 contact.

He really made that the worst breakup ever. After that he offered to replace all of my stuff that I had left at his place because he threw it away. Throughout the year we ran into each other almost every month. He'd just stare at me and then look at the ground. I knew he wanted no contact so I never said hi. He was never even mildly cordial.

What is so wrong with me that I miss him? I've been dating a new guy for over a month and I can't stop thinking about the last guy.

It wasn't all bad though. He used to leave flowers on my car randomly, if I showed up at his house there was always a plate of food for me if I wanted it, he always walked me to my car and opened the door. I mean, it wasn't all terrible. It was like a movie, really... and maybe that's why it didn't work. It always felt like one big movie... like he made it that way, but it wasn't real? He never opened up to me emotionally... we'd go to dinner and he'd just stare at me to carry the whole conversation.

We started off on such a high note. After one weekend we talked about kids, etc. When we broke up we made each other promise that we would never settle because while we are close to what we want, we weren't perfect for each other and we shouldn't settle. How do I get passed this guy? He's attractive, smart, nice, funny... and yet we eventually lacked all chemistry. When will I stop thinking about him?

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What Guys Said 1

  • There's nothing wrong with you. It's just that you attached a lot of emotion into your ex because you thought that you'll last forever.

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    • Yeah, that and he's kind of the best I've ever had :/

What Girls Said 1

  • Theres no set amount of time that it takes to get over someone. As logical as you know it may be. I'm still not over my ex, probably never will be, and we broke up 2 1/2 years ago. I don't even want him back, but I still miss him and think about him everyday. It sucks, good luck.

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    • Yeah, I know we aren't meant to be... but I still miss him. I wish we could have been friends. I think we would have been good at that!

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