A while back I commented on the disastrous consequences of affairs and suggested the use of escorts would be an alternative that could save an otherwise good relationship. The responses were heavily negative. At the same time other activities slipped under the radar. Both guys and gals please comment on what is and is not okay when you're in a relationship.
Strip clubs and lapdances. This one surprised me because the girls that were most negative on the escort issue were okay with this because it wasn't sex Strip club lap dances result in the same physical conclusion.
Anything that happens at a bachlor or bachlorette party doesn't count.
Massage parlor happy endings. This is not just a guy thing either.
So what are your thoughts?
Most Helpful Guy
Cheating is anything you wouldn't want your partner to know about, or wouldn't do in front of them. It's that simple.
Some women would freak out if their guy went to a strip club, and other women would hand him a stack of $1 bills and say "have a good time!" It's up to every couple to define the boundaries of THEIR relationship as they see fit, and then to stay within those boundaries. IMO, if you can't stay inside the boundaries that you agreed to, then you shouldn't be with that person, because you aren't compatible with them.
A big part of this is honesty. If you feel you HAVE to sleep around to be happy, you need to be honest about that with your SO. Sure, that's a deal-breaker for most women, but there ARE women who can accept that, and you'll need to work to find one. It's NOT okay to lie and say that you'll be faithful if you have no intention to be. That shows a huge lack of integrity.
You talk about an "otherwise good relationship." Aside from a serious medical condition or something like that, if you aren't getting enough sex at home, your relationship is NOT "otherwise good". Women lose their sex drive in a relationship when something ELSE is wrong; usually because they feel that they aren't important to you anymore, and that you aren't giving them the attention that they need. It's not always about quantity of attention either, it may be about QUALITY of attention. In a healthy relationship, most women WANT sex, a lot. If your woman doesn't, then you need to look elsewhere for the problem, and it shouldn't be too hard to find.2