My fiance and I just split up. I was devastated. She still texts me sometimes when she's drunk. When I talk to her the next day she says "I can't do us right now". She's made it very clear that we more than likely will get back together but she doesn't expect me to wait for her. I love this girl more than anything, that's why I gave her a big fat rock. The problem is, I don't want to be waiting in the wings at her convenience. I do want to get back together but that seems kind of sh*tty. A little additional info. I'm 33, not terribly attractive and only 5'2''. Don't confuse that with a lack of confidence, I've dated some beautiful women, but it definitely cuts my options. Add that to the fact that I'm terribly picky and that cuts my options even more. This girl is a real catch and I may never find another one like her. Do I bite my lip and just take it or tell her to get bent?
Most Helpful Girl
I kind of agree with what everyone else is saying. You don't fix a relationship by 'taking a break'. You fix a relationship by working on the problems and trying to overcome them. Now I can certainly understand if she has something she is trying to work on, that would be a legitimate reason.
But to me it sounds like she is indifferent towards you. She texts you when she's drunk, but when she's sober it's "I can't do us right now". Not very convincing for someone who you would hope wants to marry you.
I know that you think this girl is a catch, but honestly, the indifference she is showing you should be a huge red flag. IMO she is not someone who at this point is ready to get married to you.
I was in a relationship for 2 years with a guy I thought was a catch. He was handsome, funny, and incredibly laid back. However, like your lady, he was very indifferent. It was okay at first, as I understood that not everyone moves at the same pace. However, after 2 years of being together I realized that I had to make a decision. I wanted someone who wanted to be with me. Not someone who would look around, shrug their shoulders and say "okay, I guess this is the best I can do for right now".
Her actions to me don't sound like she is too overly thrilled to have been engaged to you. Sounds like she is keeping her options open. I hate to say this, but that is the vibe I am getting.
You deserve to have someone who is as crazy about you, as you are about them. Her not expecting you to wait for her sounds like she's not too bothered by the fact that she could lose you. IMO, a girl worth marrying should be devastated to not have you in her life.
I've been dating a guy for a few months now, and I already see how much of a better relationship it is compared to what I had with the guy I dated before. Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to see things in a different light.
Instead of worrying that you may not find someone, and latching onto this girl who is not really that invested. Try giving yourself some time to be alone with your thoughts and really analyse the relationship.
Go out with friends, have fun and do things that you enjoy. Change up your surroundings and really see things from a different perspective. If you take some time off, reconnect with this girl and she is willing to work on things and you are convinced, then great! But if you feel that this girl isn't right for you after taking a fresh look at the situation, well then you dodged a bullet.
Marriage is serious business, and both parties involved should be completely sure they want to go through with it. I wouldn't tell her to get bent, but maybe drop off her radar for a bit and see if she comes running. A girl worth losing will make sure she is not forgotten.
2THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE