Most Helpful Guy
Y'know... some guys are just lousy communicators... and sometimes they are just d*cks. I know you like the guy but he seems a bit of both, here.
There's no excuse for his behavior. I could NEVER behave that way- and never would.
You were only together 4½ months... not a long time at all. You were perhaps something of a rebound thing for the guy, who has other stuff in his head.
I cannot say at all if what I'm about to mention next has anything to do with you, but I have noticed a certain phenomenon over the years: It is not the least bit unusual that women end up suffering the most over "the one-who-gets-away".
Please don't get me wrong. I am not being mean- at all... just stating a tendency I've seen more than once. The guy passive-aggressively and quite meanly (because it IS mean, his behavior towards you) shuts you out cold. Yet- you continue to pine over him instead of just going... "Oh well..."
I don't know if this will help but it has served me well over the years. It comes from a time- after a bad permanent breakup with my 2nd serious GF. I suffered and mourned and masochistically beat myself up over it for a whole year... until eventually it passed. Meanwhile I completely ruined what might have been a far better possible relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl- who had the personality to match- just because I was bleeding all over. It was the closest I ever came to acting like a jerk towards a woman, too. I'm embarrassed to this day over it.
But I learned a valuable life lesson. If you treat someone well and you love them... and still they walk away from you... then F*CK them and their horse too. They simply don't deserve your pain and suffering and longing. It's an exercise in masochism- nothing more. All you do is hurt yourself in the end.
It'll pass. There are so many men in the world... good ones. Drop this badly behaved shmuck COLD and get yourself back to being busy and happy with life. It'll happen- don't worry. It always does- in time. Whatever you may have felt and still feel- he's not worth it... either your love or your unhappiness. You only do yourself a real disservice trying to contact him. Walk away, honey.
You will find someone far better... how much you wanna bet?