Why Would an Ex Boyfriend Completely Ignore you

Please don't leave mean anwsers I am truly seeking help. Me and my boyfriend broke up over a month ago. We were together about 4 1/2 months he was going through a divorce after 15+ years of marriage. I later found out he split with her right before he met me. I am older and have had several relationships but never one end like this with absolutely no contact. We broke up because we were having problems obviously he didn't just break up with me out of the blue I got upset with him about something and said not to bother calling me again. A week later of course I realized I shouldn't have said that and I showed up at his house which did not go over well at all. He hasn't spoken to me since. Over the last 5 weeks I have texted twice just saying are you ever going to speak to me again? and he ignored both. I have sent 3 emails 2 were two weeks after basically saying I hope we can be on good terms and the other was I hope your doing well etc they were short and sweet. I sent the final one I plan to send the other night which was 2 weeks after the last email saying I am sorry for things I have done and I do not have any bad feelings toward him and I understand his feelings and wished him well. He did not respond to anything not go away, not leave me alone, not I wish you well too, nothing. I know he read the emails I have read notifications he could have deleted them but he read them. This really confuses me and I care because I love him. Don't say leave him alone because I am not going to bother him again. And I know there are tons of guys asking me out and I have went on dates and I should move on but I feel really vested with him emotionally and no one else compares to me. However since I love him I want to understand why a guy would do this. I have never had a guy do this? I don't understand why he doesn't just say stop leave me alone or wish me well and I said if you want me to leave you alone tell me and still nothing? I am having a really hard time having closure because the no response and I guess no response is a no but why not just wish me well too or say something this is really making is harder on me is that the purpose. I am still crying a month later.
Updates:
Sorry Bloogoo I left a comment on your response I meant for another response. Thank you for your response it helps I still don't understand why not just say something but on the other hand I guess I should be glad it is over with someone who would be mean to people when you just don't need to act like that. All I have done is what I can be myself, be nice and wish him well and learn from him.
Okay ran into him out he was with a girl and he came up to me and tapped my shoulder and said hi I was like oh hello. Then he was with this chick we were at a concert and when she walked away he came up and was talking to me asking me how I have been who I was dating etc. he was trying to act like he was just okay and I said I am really happy blah blah I was with a date. Then the girl came back and he started making out with her right in front of me. So I gave him a dirty look contid

then he back away from her and started talking to other people and he kept staring and me and smiling and making this look at me he used to when we were dating the look like I want you look. So I left I am disgusted by his behavior what does this mean in guy world. Like why keep coming up to me and staring at me. I did not kiss my date or anything because I think that is disrespectful to do in front of an ex.
Okay have the anwser now. They ignore you because they simply don't care enough to respond and let you have closure. If this happens to you don't have wishful thinking

0|0
12

Most Helpful Guy

  • Awww...

    Y'know... some guys are just lousy communicators... and sometimes they are just d*cks. I know you like the guy but he seems a bit of both, here.

    There's no excuse for his behavior. I could NEVER behave that way- and never would.

    You were only together 4½ months... not a long time at all. You were perhaps something of a rebound thing for the guy, who has other stuff in his head.

    I cannot say at all if what I'm about to mention next has anything to do with you, but I have noticed a certain phenomenon over the years: It is not the least bit unusual that women end up suffering the most over "the one-who-gets-away".

    Please don't get me wrong. I am not being mean- at all... just stating a tendency I've seen more than once. The guy passive-aggressively and quite meanly (because it IS mean, his behavior towards you) shuts you out cold. Yet- you continue to pine over him instead of just going... "Oh well..."

    I don't know if this will help but it has served me well over the years. It comes from a time- after a bad permanent breakup with my 2nd serious GF. I suffered and mourned and masochistically beat myself up over it for a whole year... until eventually it passed. Meanwhile I completely ruined what might have been a far better possible relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl- who had the personality to match- just because I was bleeding all over. It was the closest I ever came to acting like a jerk towards a woman, too. I'm embarrassed to this day over it.

    But I learned a valuable life lesson. If you treat someone well and you love them... and still they walk away from you... then F*CK them and their horse too. They simply don't deserve your pain and suffering and longing. It's an exercise in masochism- nothing more. All you do is hurt yourself in the end.

    It'll pass. There are so many men in the world... good ones. Drop this badly behaved shmuck COLD and get yourself back to being busy and happy with life. It'll happen- don't worry. It always does- in time. Whatever you may have felt and still feel- he's not worth it... either your love or your unhappiness. You only do yourself a real disservice trying to contact him. Walk away, honey.

    You will find someone far better... how much you wanna bet?

    1|0
    1|0
    • I am deffinitely not stalking him I haven't even tried to call his phone and the communication I sent has been minimal. I have been stalked and it is repeated phone calls that have to be blocked numberous texts and messagaes and after I have said please stop I am not interested in a nice way over and over. That is stalking when someone says nothing at all something entirely different I guess he just wants to be mean.

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • NP kiddo.

    I agree with you 100%.

    You have done NOTHING wrong whatsoever, except perhaps try a little bit too hard in the end. Its just plain bad behavior to simply walk away from someone and provide NO closure, no decisive words... especially when they are so clearly due. It's nothing but mean and cowardly.

    I'd say that you dodged a bullet, girl. Move on and find a REAL man... one with an open heart, generosity of spirit and love in his heart- for you.

    You deserve it... not some pathetic, can't bother- won't bother loser.

    1|0
    1|0
    • thank you your advice has helped me a lot already I am being self defeating going to really focus on myself and the other options I have that are probably much better. thanks

    • Atta girl! Life moves on. It always does... and just around the corner...

      There is just nothing to be gained from beating yourself up with stress and sadness and questions... and wanting something that simply isn't even worth wanting from the get go.

      I had to learn the hard way, myself. It was a LOUSY experience- but hard knocks is a great teacher. I'm really happy if I have helped you spare yourself that unnecessary grief.

      Go live... and love... again. I wish you the best!

What Girls Said 1

  • You said no mean answers, so I hope this doesn't come across as one. It's just an honest answer that is probably going to be hard to hear. ( I answered another question almost exactly like this just the other day.. but I'll put something here as well.) It's not just men that can end a relationship with no further contact. I've done it as have many other women. It's cleaner and leaves no room for 'what ifs' allowing you to move on easier.

    You told him not to bother to call. You should never give anyone an ultimatum if you're not willing to live with the choice they make. Many relationships have perished for just that reason. I'm sorry but it sounds as if you have forced him to make a decision you're now sorry for. Pride and stubbornness have no place in lasting relationships. If I were in his place, I would not be making a call either. Lots of women complain that men don't listen to them, well.. this one seems to have excellent hearing. (And I wonder if the situation were reversed, would you be telling people you were being stalked by an ex?)

    I find it interesting that you say it's making it harder on you when you told him to not contact you again. Imagine how he felt when you told him that. Let him go and chalk this up to a hard learning experience. It may be best he's not answering because he may be wishing you something a lot different than 'well'. I'm not trying to be mean, but you really need to understand that YOU set up this 'no contact' breakup and now you're having to live with that. Get back out there and don't ever forget how this felt.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am deffinitely not stalking him I haven't even tried to call his phone and the communication I sent has been minimal. I have been stalked and it is repeated phone calls that have to be blocked numberous texts and messagaes and after I have said please stop I am not interested in a nice way over and over. That is stalking when someone says nothing at all something entirely different I guess he just wants to be mean.

    • Show All
    • well I told him not to call me after I caught him lying about something I meant like not that night because he said I will call you right back and I said don't bother. Of course after a while I really didn't mean it I was just upset and rightfully so. As far as stalking he never said don't contact me and those were the only attempts over 5 weeks which I would consider hardly much contact if he had replied to anything and said stop I would have he can also block my emails and he hasn't. Sorry

    • Oh and to anwser your question how would I feel if I ignored someone and when they tried to contact me I would feel like an idiot if I never bothered to respond and say please leave me alone. I would feel like I was encouraging them to bug me or I would be causing confusion for them. So since you asked I am the kind of person that is very clear communicating to people what I want. I don't cry they are bugging or stalking me if I never asked them to stop.

Recommended myTakes

Loading...