Please don't leave mean anwsers I am truly seeking help. Me and my boyfriend broke up over a month ago. We were together about 4 1/2 months he was going through a divorce after 15+ years of marriage. I later found out he split with her right before he met me. I am older and have had several relationships but never one end like this with absolutely no contact. We broke up because we were having problems obviously he didn't just break up with me out of the blue I got upset with him about something and said not to bother calling me again. A week later of course I realized I shouldn't have said that and I showed up at his house which did not go over well at all. He hasn't spoken to me since. Over the last 5 weeks I have texted twice just saying are you ever going to speak to me again? and he ignored both. I have sent 3 emails 2 were two weeks after basically saying I hope we can be on good terms and the other was I hope your doing well etc they were short and sweet. I sent the final one I plan to send the other night which was 2 weeks after the last email saying I am sorry for things I have done and I do not have any bad feelings toward him and I understand his feelings and wished him well. He did not respond to anything not go away, not leave me alone, not I wish you well too, nothing. I know he read the emails I have read notifications he could have deleted them but he read them. This really confuses me and I care because I love him. Don't say leave him alone because I am not going to bother him again. And I know there are tons of guys asking me out and I have went on dates and I should move on but I feel really vested with him emotionally and no one else compares to me. However since I love him I want to understand why a guy would do this. I have never had a guy do this? I don't understand why he doesn't just say stop leave me alone or wish me well and I said if you want me to leave you alone tell me and still nothing? I am having a really hard time having closure because the no response and I guess no response is a no but why not just wish me well too or say something this is really making is harder on me is that the purpose. I am still crying a month later.
Most Helpful Guy
Y'know... some guys are just lousy communicators... and sometimes they are just d*cks. I know you like the guy but he seems a bit of both, here.
There's no excuse for his behavior. I could NEVER behave that way- and never would.
You were only together 4½ months... not a long time at all. You were perhaps something of a rebound thing for the guy, who has other stuff in his head.
I cannot say at all if what I'm about to mention next has anything to do with you, but I have noticed a certain phenomenon over the years: It is not the least bit unusual that women end up suffering the most over "the one-who-gets-away".
Please don't get me wrong. I am not being mean- at all... just stating a tendency I've seen more than once. The guy passive-aggressively and quite meanly (because it IS mean, his behavior towards you) shuts you out cold. Yet- you continue to pine over him instead of just going... "Oh well..."
I don't know if this will help but it has served me well over the years. It comes from a time- after a bad permanent breakup with my 2nd serious GF. I suffered and mourned and masochistically beat myself up over it for a whole year... until eventually it passed. Meanwhile I completely ruined what might have been a far better possible relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl- who had the personality to match- just because I was bleeding all over. It was the closest I ever came to acting like a jerk towards a woman, too. I'm embarrassed to this day over it.
But I learned a valuable life lesson. If you treat someone well and you love them... and still they walk away from you... then F*CK them and their horse too. They simply don't deserve your pain and suffering and longing. It's an exercise in masochism- nothing more. All you do is hurt yourself in the end.
It'll pass. There are so many men in the world... good ones. Drop this badly behaved shmuck COLD and get yourself back to being busy and happy with life. It'll happen- don't worry. It always does- in time. Whatever you may have felt and still feel- he's not worth it... either your love or your unhappiness. You only do yourself a real disservice trying to contact him. Walk away, honey.
You will find someone far better... how much you wanna bet?1