Background: Me and boyfriend have been together for over 5years and I have always had a feeling that he is going to cheat on me. Which is unfounded as I have never been cheated on and he has never done anything that I am aware of to justify this feeling. So I have just been suppressing it and said nothing and tried not to stress. We have just gotten back together after a 4 month break, in which I told him to be with other people if he wanted but I will not take him back if that is what he needed to in order to realize he wanted to be with me.
Early on in our relationship we shared our FB and email passwords as we both had nothing to hide from one another. I had never looked into his FB acc before until I noticed that he had become friends with a girl I had never met. When I asked him how he knew her he advised that they met at the first aid class he recently attend. He joked (I hope) that this girl was his perfect woman and then told me they shared a similar passion (bike riding).
This made me feel wary so I checked his FB private messages. He messaged her that day say something along the lines of “good times today, certainly made the day go that bit faster. Let me know if you ever venture over my way again, might have to have a coffee together :)”.
She wrote back and mentioned that she wanted to leave the country next year if she becomes single. He then wrote” the great leap into the unknown! big stones..
let your partner in on the gig, they might just be in on it too! never know. you train out this way much?”
She advised fortnightly depending on the weather which he replied “well on your next trek out here give me a heads up before you do, keen for coffee and tall tales”.
She responded “yeah I was thinking bout that... could be a chance for that over the next two days or next week... I'm just checking out the weatherHe then gave her his number and insisted she call. The conversation ended with her saying “talk soon!”
Justified or not?
Most Helpful Girl
yeah id say he shouldn't be having that conversation when he already has a girlfriend (you). kinda messed up, its not like he acted on anything sexual but its the beginning stages cause he asked her out for coffee and he gave his number, so she's being respectful and shrugging it off and saying she's leaving the country not interested, whereas he's trying to get with her...
at least that's what I got from the convo. I think you should confront him and take it from there. be calm and rational just let him know you are disappointed and how he should be asking you for coffee not some other girl. just leave it at that. don't fight don't argue see if he feels guilt. ask him if he loves you. ask him if he wants to see other people? like instead of fighting and yelling talk to him psychologically asking him what he wants, put it on him.