Ex- fiance (been apart 2 months and he already has girlfriend) wants to meet up with me...?

My ex and I were together for 7 long years. We had a very close friendship before we started dating.We were engaged for 2 years and lived together. Everything was going great until we had to get down to business with wedding planning (particularly paying for things) . But he was still treating me wonderfully and we were happy. Then he had some family drama after an uncle died in a car accident. He became angry and negative all the time. All I tried to do was listen and be there. But eventually, he made comments like " I can't trust anyone", and "i have no faith in anyone, no one is there for me". Mind you I have put my heart on the line or this guy in the past and always been there for him. I was deeply hurt by these comments and started to ask questions. If you don't trust me and you don't feel I'm here for you, why do you want to marry me? I just kept trying to comfort him anyway. Then one day he decided he just wanted to spend some time alone so he went to his moms all day. A couple days later- he broke the news that he wanted to leave, no longer wanted to marry me, and thought I would be happier with someone else. I kept my cool. Yes I cried, but I didn't beg or plead. I simply told him Id prefer to try to work it out and that I love him. He said he wanted to leave so I said I understand and let him go. He stayed with me for 3 days after. Finally I told him if he wants to leave he should leave. Then he was supposed to pick up his things while I was working... 2 weeks went by and he had packed almost nothing. Tired of feeling confused when I would come home to see his things still there. I called his mom and cried while I had to pack his things...and I didn't even want to break up. I told him that we shouldn't talk for a while. He had a hard time accepting this and never really stopped trying to talk to me. recently he is seeing someone new (actually started seeing her like a week after moving out) but has been begging me to meet up with him this weekend. I'm so torn. We are supposed to meet in a public place. He has said he will have the entire day dedicated to our meeting... but if I want to leave after 5 min its fine just as long as I meet him... what is this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • listen,he met her before you broke up,trust me,thats why he would say he didn't trust people and had no faith in anyone,he said that because he was not being honest with u,its no coincidence that he was dating her two weeks after the break up..when they change out of the blue like he did,something is amiss and trust me the uncles death was just another excuse ,even if it did happen.I think the whole wedding expense mayhave been what pushed him over the edge..many men hate that whole mushy theme..its more of a girl thing,if its up to a man they just rather say the vows and call it a day,wedding days are a big thing but marriage is what really counts.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • he knew of her before. and I did too. she is living with one of his guy friends. they are roommates. I had even been at her place while we were still together. but I don't believe he was seeing her or anything before the split. he wouldn't have even had time. but ater the split and kinda pushed him out because he just kept staying even thought he said he wanted to leave...he had no place to stay but that buddies place...where she lives. and then boom a week later theyre like a thing.

    • he rebounded I don't believe it will work but I wouldn't take him back after that move

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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that he just want your physical presence near him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like he got cold feet since you handled the break up really well that made you look respectable and emotionally strong in his eyes. When he found out grass is not greener elsewhere he started having second thoughts. It really sounds like he had second thoughts the entire time because you had to push him to do something.

    Now he wants back what he had before or to at least find out if there is even a chance. You're lucky if you feel like you can just move on then its just your choice do you want to forgive and do you want to trust him again and can you trust him again. Or you can just move on and start over with someone else and let him live with the consequences of his poor choice.

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    • thank I met with him. he froze that day and regretted it immmensely not opening up. I gave him a letter stating that if he's happy he needs to leave me alone for good. he made it obvious he's not completely happy and is still unsure of his feelings. he finally agreed to I've me some time and some space. I just don't wanna be stuck holdin on to him if nothing is going to come of it. and he needs to realize what life without me is like- he hasn't been without me around since we were teenagers.

    • this is part 2: I feel if we tried remaining friends so soon we would be stuck in the break up stage. stuck in this confusion. I feel the only chance we have of finding out if we are meant for each other is by allowing time an space. I love him immensely, but even now I can't say for sure I would take him back any time soon. and he's finally understanding that space maybe the only shot we have. he says he thinks about me every day and that he'll always loe me, but finally agrees to give me space.

    • Space sounds like a great idea then you will have time to think about things and make a better decision.

  • I don't know what this is. It sounds like things with this new person maybe aren't going so well and maybe he is going to try and convince you to be with him again. You sound like a strong woman to be able to just let him go. It also sounds like he's the one with the issues, not you.

    By meeting him you may be giving him hope of getting back together. Personally, I don't know if I could go back with someone that treated me the way he treated me. He seems too confused.

    You can do better. You're still young.

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    • I have tried several times. I have politely asked him to stop contacting me until I am ready. I heard through my friends that he is always asking them if I am okay an how I am doing and what I am doing... we didn't talk to or almost 2 months and the whole time he was messaging my closest friend to pump her for info... once she told him "shes getting through it slowly but surely. shell be fine" all of a sudden he has to meet up with me.

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