He wants me back so why do this?

We broke up just over a week ago. I have since found out that not only has he contacted a few girls that he was interested in/ that were interested in him ( he almost cheated on me with one) he also re-activated his online dating account and has been looking and sending messages.

He says he wants to do whatever it takes to keep me and win me back so why is he also looking elsewhere? Oh yeah, and we're still living together until the end of the month. I need some perspective guys, help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's not clear to me if you want him back. If not, his reasons for doing all of this really don't matter. If you do, it's a different story. If you are considering this, ask yourself if you're willing to accept him as he was when you broke up before. Don't assume he's changed unless you have really good reason to believe it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Why did you break up originally?

    I've had sort of similar issues in the past with my guy; he turned to overly flirting with other girls during breaks to feed his ego. He had major self-esteem issues that got worse when I suggested us taking a break and that fueled him to build it up however her could (i.e., attention from any girl willing to give it).

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    • We broke up for many reasons. He cheated for the first year of our relationship so trust was broken. Also, he's just not mature in the ways I need him to be ( ie having a job and not living off his mom or me, being financially stable and independent, always having an excuse and not taking responsibility for his actions).

    • Hmm, well there are two options: he's either very insecure and feels he has to go to other women for validation of his self worth (like my bf) or he's just a jerk.

      Only you know in your gut which is true, but I'd bet on the former. If he were really just a jerk, he wouldn't want you back.

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