So about a year ago, I had finally had enough. I decided I was done and I told her it's over. However, due to some issues that is a long story in itself, I couldn't move out. We ended up living together the whole last year. Then two months ago, finally cleared up all the issues, and I said I was making plans to move out. That set her off and she spiraled quickly in a deep depression/breakdown. She did some crappy things during that few weeks to try to change my mind, including going through my email, trying to manipulate me to stay because of what it will do to the kids (she also has a teenage son from previous marriage), but after that, all the sudden EVERYTHING changed. She dumped all her old reacts, started being extra nice, basically everything I ever asked her to be over the last 7 years, but it's too late for me. I don't want to be with her anymore, I see her differently now and that's not the same person I fell in love with. Plus, I don't believe you can just change everything about yourself overnight.
She is persistent in trying to get me to stay, but I'm determined to leave, and do it healthily, supporting her and the kids, good co-parenting techniques, have kids talk to counselors as needed, help her get on her feet, etc. But she thinks that we just need to foster "us" and do stuff and love will grow again. I want to move on, so how do I convince her it's over?