Were my chances with her doomed from the start?

We had a month where we saw each other every day due to work/class. During that month, we came close-ish, always teasing each other, flirting a bit. I started physically flirting with her like tickling and she was receptive to it (though only did it back once). She would say things like she hoped we'd end up in the same place in the future, etc. Eventually she kind of led the conversation to me asking her to hang out on our off day.

So we hung out. It was a bit awkward, but it was an okay time. I was trying to read her signals and figure her out and then at the end, she was in my car and kind of stayed there while we talked about a couple of people sitting on a bench and making fun of them. I thought she might've wanted me to make a move, but there was something holding me back, other than I wasn't feeling the vibe.

She had a boyfriend.

So I didn't do anything. Then she offered her hand to shake to me and I shook it and it sucked.

Then there were only three more days together after that. In the beginning, I continued to be playful, tickling her, etc., but then she started telling me how she thought one of our supervisors was attractive and delicious looking and she wouldn't be able to control herself around him. So after that, I stopped initiating conversation/playfullness. She attempted a few times to re-initiate that, but eventually gave up.

The last day came without either one of us saying bye and I haven't heard from her since.

Yet I keep thinking about her and it's making me depressed. I feel like I should've done something when she was in my car, I can't help but feel that I had a shot with her despite her boyfriend. And it sucks even more now that I haven't heard from her at all.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Move on bro. She had a boyfriend so right there that was a big red flag. (And I'm assuming she was telling the truth.) Plus she casually mentioned how a supervisor makes her hot, which you know right there she's gauging your jealousy level. And why would she say that if she had a boyfriend? What, her guy's not good enough? I don't know, seems like this girl could lead a crazy relationship down the road. I'd avoid her and move on.

    Yes, it's hard to get her off your mind and you're feeling the effects, but remember she's just one out of many girls out there.

    • I thought maybe she was just viewing me as "one of her girlfriends", which is why she mentioned that guy, that she had already friend zoned me since I didn't try to kiss her that time we hung out.

    • Show All
    • but I don't understand why it's over just like that. It seemed to be going well. Hence, why I think I messed up.

    • Maybe you did, maybe you didn't. At this point, there's really only two things you can do. You either walk away and move on, or you tell her how you feel regardless of the consequences (assuming you still have a means to contact her). If you choose to do the latter, better to do it as soon as you can. At least you get all the stuff bottled up inside you off your chest.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think there are 2 possiblities --> one that she was interested in you in the beginning but became conflicted as she as a boyfriend and so tried to send you an indirect message by saying that she was findng someonelse hot.

    The other option is that she was very interested in you but wanted to tease or make you jealous by talking about another guy.

    If you won't be seeing her anymore, you might as well send her a message sayin how you feel in a way that still respects the fact that she has a boyfriend. juz say something along the lines of "i juz wanted to let you know how I felt before I lost the chance..." That way, you will know if you have a shot without pending time playing games. Good luck!

  • She sounds like a slut, no offense. But this girl has a boyfriend. Do you think her boyfriend knew about you? Do you think he would have been upset about her hanging out alone with guys? In her boyfriend's position, would you be upset to find out about this random guy that she's teasing/flirting/hanging out with? That COULD be you in the future if you continue with this girl. I say she's bad news. And immature.


What Guys Said 3

  • dont think aboout her boyfriend. if she wants to hang out with you, you have a chance. This is a competition, don't think about ethique issue, like you grab other girl from guy. just take it slowly, if she feels that she is with you better than her boyfriend, why not.

    if you can move on its better don't involve this situation, its complicated or play safe just being her friend and if you see a chance that she has loose relationship with her boyfriend then take a chance and shot her.

  • Sounds like it could turn up into a mess if you made a move. If she wants you, let her talk to you. If not, there's plenty of fish in the sea lol

  • It seems from the looks of it.


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