But during our relationship we never really kissed, the thought gave me butterfly's but I felt nervous, not because its my first kiss, just . . . I can't explain, kissing in school doesn't sound wonderful. Anyway, we never went out much, only once on a double date with our two friends who were dating. It was a fun date, really cute, but every time he wrapped his arms around me I felt alarmed, nervousness? I can't tell, I blushed and such, but I felt awkward.
We dated for 3 months, till I ended the relationship, because my mother believed I liked my ex as a friend than a boyfriend, and I let the words get into my head. I started to question if I really liked him, and as paranoid as I am, I even went to depth of what if we continued our relationship and he actually fell in love with me and I broke his heart? So I ended it.
That was a year ago, and we still talked and such, and few weeks ago he had a girlfriend...I couldn't tell what I felt was jealousy, disappointment? I think it was because he had a girlfriend, and I didn't have a boyfriend after our break up, he broke up with his girlfriend anyway for some unknown reason.
But today, we were somehow close again like before, and I felt butterfly's and . . . I wanted to give it another go, I told him, he still liked me. But this time we are taking it slowly, as hanging out just more as friends, but I couldn't resist linking my arm with him, and I had a wonderful day with him, taking a walk and going to the park, and we are going swimming tomorrow.
But now . . . when I think about it, I'm still questioning if I really like him or not, and I know I'm giving him hope, I fell worried that in the end I might not want to date him and I would disappoint again. No one can really give me advice, he is a good friend, and was a good boyfriend, I don't want to hurt him again. Please, give me advice.