Why do some girls deliberately suppress their feelings and avoid spending time with you?

Hello there!

I have been in love with this girl for since 2008. In 2009 September we ended up seeing each other briefly for a month or so, I was bad relationship material back then because although she loved me, I gave her no freedom to do what she wanted and I was constantly asking were she was and what she was doing. I was very obsessive and very clingy.

She didn't want to be in a relationship with me for them reason and met someone new in November 2009 and ended up getting with him till July 2011. During this time I was still an arsehole and trying to get her to get with me and I was still very clingy. She always kept saying "No, I am with someone else now" but I couldn't accept that for an answer. There was always something about her that was telling me she still really did like me.

In about December 2010 I said enough was enough and I stopped talking to her and started sorting myself out and stopped being so depressed, desperate, needy and clingy. For about 6 months I didn't speak to her. In about May time I started talking to her again as a normal human being. I stopped being so clingy and stopped being so needed. The feelings I know she was holding back started to show again. Even though she was still with her boyfriend.

She started hanging out with me a lot more, spending a lot more time together and getting very close with each other. In July 2011 she said to me "I think we should stop hanging out together so often, I have a boyfriend and it looks very bad." I understood what she was saying but it was upsetting. I met up with her one last time just to spill my heart out to her and tell her I loved her. She said "I don't feel the same way. I am sorry, your my best friend"

I decided I was just chasing a rabbit I couldn't catch and moved on with my life. 3 weeks later I saw her out one night. Since I had moved on and become a lot more confident with myself, I just grabbed her and started kissing her. She told me she split up with her boyfriend and she had never stopped loving me from the day she met me. What really got me was, why did she lie?

I ended up getting with her from August 2011 to July 2012. We ended because we lost sexual attraction to each other. But we admitted we still loved each other. The split up was mutual.

Recently I started talking to her again, and yet again she is deliberately suppressing her feelings towards me and avoiding spending time with me. I had another convosation about it our feelings and relationship together and she said she doesn't feel the same way as me. Yet I know in my gut that she does. Just like last time.

Reason I know is because of the way we are with each other and our chemisty. Its just who we are together. I think she knows it so she's deliberately trying to stop herself from falling for me again. Its very frustrating she doing this.

During out relationship I was very loyal to her so I see no reason for her to be afraid of trying again. Advise anyone?

Thank you very much for reading.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you lost sexual attraction, then she probably is avoiding confronting the feelings that she has for you because she doesn't want to have things end again. Oftentimes it's easier to ignore feelings that have been there all along and keep living than take the risk of dating someone again, knowing full well that you'll probably end up hurt again. The potential emotional pain that would result in having to decide (mutually or not), to no longer be together is worth avoiding to her at this point.

    • This makes a lot of sence. Thank you.

      Someone spreaded a rumour about us that I found sex with her boring. We stopped having sex when she heard it and believed the rumor. Which was not true. She would not have sex at all with me and I told her it was not true but she still didn't. She seemed extremely upset about the situation and that lead to our break up together. I took the breakup pretty well but I don't know about her. It was more her decision that mine no matter how mutral.

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