Did I date a commitment phobe?

So my ex and I had been going out for 6 months until he broke it off. He pursued me so hard in the beggining-for five months before we became official- and the new relationship seemed perfect and romantic and passionate. Then, the last couple months he started being rude and would hang out with me less and less and would get angry when I was upset with him for it. Whenever I came to him with a problem because he would constantly flirt with other girls, he would turn the blame back on me. He always wanted attention from me and others. Then he withdrew physically and asked to take a break from our relationship, because he felt like it was too physical and unhealthy but didn't want to break up because he still liked me a lot but wanted to spiritually and emotionally mature which he could only do by himself. He was also busy this month with the musical and was going through a lot of stress. After a week break, he told me he wanted to break up but told me I was perfect and he liked me a lot but didn't want to get even more attached than he already was because it would only hurt more later on. He also said we weren't as emotionally or physically close, but that's only because he distanced himself from me the last month out of the blue...He said he needed to figure out what he was doing wrong in all of his relationships because ours was the longest, his other 8 exes only lasting three months, one of which lasted for only a couple weeks and he broke up with all of them for stupid reasons he blamed them for.He also listed all these other extracurricular activities including frisbee (!) that he had to prioritize before a relationship. He said he didn't even know if he wanted a relationship in high school. After we broke up (which has been the past few months), he would be randomly rude to me, except he would initiate contact with me and pick out my faults, then he started texting me and being all nice, he then started talking to his and my friends about me, mostly good. His friends told me that he would talk about me all the time and would get angry when I talk to or about another guy. Then my ex texted his friend to "fix us" because he felt like I had an issue with him. This was my first relationship so I don't really know what's going on/what to do...help? What is his deal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • he is immature, you are better off leaving him alone,he can't make up his mind because he does not know what it takes to be in a relationship. The reason he breaks up w girls so early on is because its called the honey moon stage. When two people meet up and the sparks are flying usually around the 3 or 4th month the dust settles and the excitement begins to fade, yours may have lasted a couple months longer but its the same concept, he will be chasing these rainbows until he grows up.

    • yeah! It really stinks because I really liked him! But your right, its summer now so I can distance myself from him, his friend told me he manipulates and lies to people to get them to like him. Hopefully I find someone better for me!

    • oh you will...scum bags like him are a dime a dozen,u will know the difference now

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What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that he doesn't want to be in a relationship at all.


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