Why won't he leave me alone?

Two months ago I had a fling I guess(I thought it was more) with a good friend and co worker of two years. I had had a crush on him for two years and thought nothing would ever happen between us because he is 8 years younger than me and I am so far from his type. The whole time he was telling me he was excited to be together but he acted differently from his words. Basically he was hot and cold. He seemed interested but didn't act it. Well I was foolish and slept with him anyway. He then started disappearing again. He then proceeded to pull me aside at work. (rude) and apologize for being "sketchy" and that he had been thinking about us and he felt that We were like Joey and Rachel on friends. That he liked us where we were and things were moving too fast and he liked us just as friends. I chatted a bit longer then went back to my work. I was humiliated, and sad, and angry all at once was a fool to fall for his words and give myself to him. This guy proceeded to treat me exactly the way he had before we started talking. Flirting shamelessly. Now the whole time we were together he treated me like I didn't matter unless we were alone. Which wasn't often. He wouldn't text or really talk to me at work. Now he wants to pretend like nothing ever happened! I don't think so. It pisses me off that he can. I responded but didn't flirt. I began to distance myself from him. I didn’t speak unless spoken to, never made eye contact, I separated myself from him completely. If he walked through my area I made sure not to look his way. I needed to get a hold of myself emotionally because I had been so interested in him for so long. He kept trying to talk to me like old times. So I have tried blatantly ignoring him. I leave the area if he walks up. If he speaks to me I don’t respond most of the time.We went to dinner with co workers and he sat right across from me! I spent the whole like ignoring him, He would try to join my convos and I wouldn't respond! I don't know how much more obvious I can get! But he still tries at least once a day. He wanders to my area for nothing. Sometimes I see him out of the corner of my eye looking in my direction or even standing not far away almost waiting for me to look up and notice him. I don’t give in, even though I want too and miss him. I’m in good spirits most of the time but I do get sad and angry but never in front of him. I know for a fact that he likes another female we work with but hasn’t gotten brave enough to ask her out. I don’t understand why he won’t get the message and back off. I feel like he just won’t let me go. I need my space but he is either too dumb or too hard headed to give up for some reason. Why is this? What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be straight with him, just tell him that he is to immature for you to become involved and that you made one mistake, make it clear that your no longer interested, this will make him back off. I understand you have feelings there, but this guy seems to think that your his booty call and that if he has nothing, you will do, your right to want away from him, no one deserves treatment like this , especially when your supposed to be the wise one here, so make it more obvious by letting him know you made a mistake and to stop thinking anything else will happen. This will make him feel that he has lost something in you, and rightly so, don't settle for punks like this, get youwhat your worth,x

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What Guys Said 6

  • I hate to say it but it sounds like you got suckered into giving up the goodies but a young player. Endless flirting before sex nothing after. Now he back in your face again, what does this tell you? He want the goodies again. He wants a fwb. He doesn't want a relationship he just wants the you know what. Be cool with him, converse him, even flirt back just don't give him what he wants.

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  • You should start ignoring him. Tell him that the friendship isn't working out for you. He's keeping you around in case he wants to have sex with you again.

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  • Well, you said it, dumb and hard headed.

    Plus he'd like to keep having those occasional flngs, and doesn't want to believe that can't happen again!

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  • 1. This is why you don't "fish off the company pier", because when the relationship goes badly, as it so often does, you're still stuck having to deal with that person on a regular basis, WITH the scrutiny of all your coworkers to boot.

    2. The only thing you can do is do your best to cut off all contact with him beyond what is necessary to do your job. Let him know that your friendship isn't working out, and that you're going to need to make a clean break from him (don't just do it, or he'll make a scene; he needs to be told what to expect).

    Whenever you consider dating someone, you need to remember that if/when the relationship ends/fails/doesn't work out, you probably won't be able to be friends with them anymore. You should EXPECT not to be friends anymore, and so you need to make sure that there aren't going to be complications around not being friends with them. Complications such as: you still have to work with them, or you still have to see them on a regular basis.

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  • Don't you think it's time to put your foot down and tell him to move on? It's not going to work out? Etc. I think it would be a good idea to for your emotional well being.

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  • It seems that he still wants to have a fling with you.

    You should be more direct with your ignorance with him

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