My ex wants to be friends

My ex and I had an amazing relationship until he decided one day that he doesn't want a relationship anymore.. it was hard for me but I agreed and left him, but after that he never stopped calling and msging. I disappeared after that and stopped answering his calls for almost a month. we met again we started going out and having fun .. he is still the same gentle man I fell in love with. he is funny, generous, helpful and amazing. he always help me, never ignores my calls , he didn't date any other girls and it seems he is not welling to. He never goes a day without calling or texting me. He cares about me, he gets jealous when I talk about other guys.

i finally got the courage to ask him if he wants us back, but his answer was " he doesn't want to commit in a relationship " and he is just happiest with me that's why he didn't leave..

I'm so confused, I couldn't stop crying because I really love him and I love how he treats me and I'm so happy with him..

Tell me what to do !


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a saying that simply states "you can't have your cake and eat it too."

    That's true, unless you're the lucky guy who is the ex that is using you.

    He legitimately cares about you, no doubt, but he doesn't want to be committed to you. As a guy, this suggests to me that if any opportunity arises with someone else, physically speaking, he now has the freedom to take it. This guy seems to have an emotional attachment to you that he's not willing to separate from, but at the same time he has motives that drive him towards the possibility of being with another female.

    This isn't about not having time for a relationship. This isn't about he wants what's best for you. This isn't about just needing a "break." This is one of two things...he wants the freedom to be physically intimate with other girls OR there is a certain girl that has caught his attention and he has feelings for her. Either way, he's texting, calling, and hanging with you to keep you at bay, so whenever he changes his mind, you'll be right there waiting, and he knows this.

    Sure, he might tell you he's not dating other girls, but whatever, he wanted no commitment for a reason, and this is the most notable one. My advice to you would be to give him an ultimatum...its couple or nothing. You're either in his life as his girlfriend who he loves, or you're not in his life at all.

    Don't give him the satisfaction of being there when he needs you. As the two of you stand now, you're in a committed relationship with him and he's not in one with you. That's unfair. Talk to him about this, and if he still doesn't want a relationship with you, tell him friendship is out of the question. The closer you are with him, the harder its going to be to get over him.

    He's not as innocent as you think he is...

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • jeremy20 FTW

    • this is going to be hard because I really want to be with him. I don't know what to do and how to get him back. thank you so much.

    • Hi - I'm afraid I have no words of advice but I've just been in this exact situation. I have tried to be friends, but with the hope that he'd make a move back to wanting more. 3 months on and I'm still attached and he is still seeing me as just a mate, but one that he wants to start a 'friends with benefits' relationship with. I said I could only be friends or a girlfriend and would find it hurtful to be anything in between... he has since cut off all contact - I feel for you having a similar prob.

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What Guys Said 5

  • He wants the best of both worlds. He wants to have the luxury of being close to you; which is permitting him to have the same access and time spent with you as he did prior to the breakup. Yet, he wants the freedom of being in a uncommitted relationship, so that it's not cheating when he wants a brief "something" with someone else.

    My advice is to move on, at least until he can give you what you deserve. A commitment.

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  • Well it wasn't an "amazing relationship" - otherwise you would still be together. He doesn't want to commit. If you want a relationship with someone who will hook up with someone else if he gets teh opportunity, then stay where you are.

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  • Simply move on unless you're happy with just being friends. Otherwise tell him you're not OK with the arrangement and have moved on. His concerns or feelings aren't your concern anymore, you guys aren't dating. You focus on your feelings and what you want. Cut the cord and move on.

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  • He doesn't want a relationship but still genuinely cares about you.

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    • This. I've been in this situation, my ex totally cut me out of her life...I'm still pretty sad about it, and it's hard, because I know she's suffering...but I couldn't go on in the relationship, y'know?

  • Just be friends.

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