Should I take him back

Recently I've gotten into a relationship/engagement with this guy who's in the military, we've been talking over the phone for about a year and a half before we actually met. I would've met him sooner but he kept standing me up, so I finally told him to lose my number. Then weeks later he texted me and told me that he missed me, so he booked me an 800+ plan ticket so that he can make it up and finally meet me. When I got there things were perfect of course, and he asked me to marry him. I said yes because I was completely swept off my feet. But when I was there he kept texting someone and I asked who, he said no one I'm checking my bank account which was a lie so I confronted him and he texted the girl and said that he has a girlfriend so he can't keep talking to her so I forgave him and moved on. I asked if he's ever slept with her or had a relationship/ spoken to her since and he said no. now We've been planning and calling around for marrige liscense prices etc. he's been talking to my mother and all! Anyway I have his passwords to all of his accounts as well as he has mine.Two weeks ago he took a trip to California for one day for a meeting with Capitol records. I checked his email to get an instrumental and I saw a conformation email that he had just signed up for plenty of fish and he's telling women he's single and etc. I decided to check his phone records and he had indeed been talking to that girl so I called her, come to find out he went to California to see her. They also had unprotected sex and he came inside of her. They also lost twins together back in April. Just a bunch of fu*king lies she also told me that she knew he was in a relationship he just wouldn't confirm so she slept with him anyway. His mom and him had a huge fight and fell out because he changed his relationship status to being with me so he's not talking to her. He also talks to this girls mom all day everyday, he lied to me and told me that she was his god mom. This woman is rich and puts $1500 in a maturing account for him. Anyway I came to him with all of my evidence and he said he was sorry and that he didn't want to lose me, he even started crying. I'm in a hard place because he's begging for another chance I told him that she has to go, and he replied that I don't understand she's the only real friend I have. I also know that they've been through a lot losing their children so I know he needs that closure and she does too. But it's just hard to bare due to the simple fact he cheated on me with her. Not to mention that account with plenty of fish. He confessed anf told me that He told me he went to Cali for the meeting she set up for him with Capitol records and to see if anything was still there. He also said that he was only on POF because he was bored. He says he had to be sure... Now he's crying,tweeting sad tweets,and begging me to get married and start out life together, what do I do this is so hard.


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What Guys Said 1

  • No, don't take him back. Out of pity actions will do you no good.


What Girls Said 1

  • I say run! First off, you just met this guy and he proposed? That's a big red flag. Why is he in a rush to get married? Shouldn't you two get to know each other first?

    It sounds like there are a lot of things he is hiding from you. I can certainly understand if you met someone, and things were amazing and so you two decided to get married. But it sounds like there are a lot of things going on with this guy.

    You've already found out about another woman, and a woman that he had impregnated. I think you need to take a step back and think about this rationally.

    Would you marry a guy who was talking to other women, signing up for datings sites after he just asked you?

    He says he was on POF because he was bored? Really, and how long were you dating when that happened? It just doesn't seem like you guys have been together long, so it's too early for him to get bored.

    I can see if you two were together for 5+ years, but by the sounds of it, you two have only been dating a short time.

    • We've been dating for almost a month now. I thought I had some what of a feel for him because we've been talking for a year and a half but I guess I really didn't have the real scoop. He deleted his plenty of fish account and he called her and told her that he could no longer see her anymore but he'd still be a friend and support her through her medical problems. I mean when I found out I really wasn't hurt, he cried I didn't.

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