Is it possible for a guy to only realize how much he likes you after you're not around much anymore?

For a guy and girl who apparently like each other a lot, flirt a lot and are around each other all the time, but nothing has developed. The kind of guy girl people look at and think why aren't they together? Is it possible he only really fully realizes his feelings and moves to progress things up a notch once she is Gone and not around much anymore?

To me it always seems if he's interested enough he will act. But never accepted my offers or cues to go out. So once he does it few months after I've moved away it seems insincere to me?

he knew I wanted us to go out before but he never acted. Even tho he continued to take care of me and be sweet to me and touch me a lot etc. We were always around each other day in day out and people saw how close we were. But nothing developed.

why not? Why now?

there were no complications with exes etc. He was always single.

feel a bit messed around



Most Helpful Guy

  • to be honest this sounds a bit like me, I've always been shy when it comes to women, and to the point where I have ruined it for myself. If I were you Id try and talk to him about all this stuff. How do you know for sure the he knew you wanted you guys to go out...maybe he was over thinking so much on how he was coming across to you that it blurred things. Maybe other things/people got in the way? There is so many possibilities why he didn't ask you out. He was prob petrified of the rejection too haha! Guys, especially shy guys like me prob won't pick up on the most obvious hints (trust me I'm an expert at missing huge hints)

    If you want him then throw him a bone haha, its not always easy for the shy guy to push things, and who knows maybe he thought he never had a chance with you. So go on, give him a nudge in the right direction, if that's what you want!

    • He just doesn't come across as that shy. He lacks confidence sometimes and he does get nervous, and he is quite reserved. But when he is flirty with me he is anything but shy. And he has had gfs before That's what makes me unsure. I suggested clearly couple times he should take me out. So I dunno. The only thing is that he is slowly getting us closer. And I don't think he'd stick around this long and continue to be sweet to me, impress me, or get us closer if he wasn't headed somewhere with this

    • Show All
    • p.s, when he goes 'cold' like this, I back off and go quiet and let him contact me. but only because I sense him backing off and don't want to stifle him.

      in your case - I think you should just pounce, ask her to somewhere casual like lunch or casual dinner...

    • Ya that's the plan. its her birthday in a few weeks time now so I don't know what to do for that? I know she would like something, and I want to show my interest by sending her something nice. Ill hopefully be meeting up with her (in a group) a couple of days after her birthday at the weekend so that's when I was planning on asking her out casually

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It seems that he just have the courage to continue things now.

    • if he was that unsure for that long then I have no guarantee he will back off and run away at any moment. Red flags up everywhere. how can I possibly trust that he won't continue to be unsure and mess me around repeatedly again?

What Girls Said 2

  • I might think he is shy, s why don't you try and tell him that you two should hang out more times and see how you can go from there.

  • He was shy! Or yes he didn't realize it at the time I was the same way with a guy in college and I realized 2 years after not being around him I cared so much for him. Along with another guy it took me 4 years it takes some people longer than others to realize what they have lost though. He's not trying to throw you under the bus or make you think odd about it he was just shy and nervous even if you did tell him and some guys just can't take hints, I'm telling you, but absence makes the heart grow fonder!


Recommended myTakes