Is he being selfish or wants to break it off again?

I'm currently in a relationship with my ex whom I first started dating a few years ago. When we first got back together everything was great and better than the first time we were together. We'd talk/text most of the time, see each other almost every weekend, and he became more involved in seeing my family and friends than the first time we were together. We've been about 9 months together (over a year if you include when we were first together) but around the middle of April, things have taken a turn. I had a bunch of stuff going on with university and he was in the middle of getting a general manager position for a store that his company was losing money with plus his summer business needed preparation before it opened in May. Around that time we got together and he explained the whole work situation and how stressed he was and that it was going to occupy a majority of his time which I fully understood (I had exams during this time so I was busy as well). However as time went by I wasn't hearing anything from him so I called him to see what was up. When I talked to him I asked if he was ignoring me because he wanted to break up with me (which I assumed because he broke up with me that way before) which I was totally prepared for. But he started freaking out and saying "no no" and again explained his whole work scenario, how the store he was now managing was near bankruptcy and how getting it back on track was his main priority. He apologized for his behavior and said he knew it wasn't fair to me and that he couldn't make concrete plans with anyone including me until June when his work and side business settled down. After that I only briefly heard from him via text. But now I've been calling/ texting and he won't answer my texts or calls. It is now the second week of June and I haven't heard anything from him. Should I wait for him to come to me or get a hold of him and break it off myself (this is what most people have told me to do). I really care for him and hate to break up again because I know he'll come back (he has admitted that he hated losing me from his life).


Most Helpful Girl

  • How long since you haven't heard from him? Most men don't want to commit themselves unless they can fully commit, and it has nothing to do with how they feel about you but how they feel about themselves. There is a lot of pressure to provide for you and treat you right and if they feel they can only do a half-assed job, they will refrain from doing it at all. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to wait to see if this relationship has a future. From what you right, I would say he does care for you but if he is stressed at work then your questions about the future are only going to add to his stress. If you aren't in a hurry for a bonafide relationship, just text him now and then to say hello and see how he is doing instead of seeming accusatory or like you're losing your sh*t over where the relationship is going. Or if you feel like it's hurting your self esteem, let him go and just stop contacting him since he doesn't contact you. He may come back to you, he may not, but it's not worth feeling frazzled over.

    • *write. Jesus.

    • He actually tried calling today but I missed it. I haven't returned his call, going to see if he tries calling again.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Hes not being selfish at all, He's working towards his future. He sounds like a busy person, But it is wrong that he's not trying, A man should always make time for his woman, even if its at least a phone call before bed each night. Tell him you can't wait around anymore so either he needs to meet you half way and find the time for you or that you got to end it because its not fair to you. Good luck! :)

  • I wouldn't want to be in a relationship were it seems like I have to push him into commiting


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