What's the logic about our break up?

My ex and I were together for one happy year. He broke up with me because he was feeling unhappy lately (we didn't spent enough time together and it was my fault). I told him that I can make that right (and it's true, I can) but he didn't want to give me a second chance. I know he's crazy about me, but why did he give up so easily?

And more importantly, is there a chance to get him back?
Updates:
He loved me very much and everybody saw that. I didn't mention is that he sometimes had periods of unhappyness/depression (he says it's bipolar disorder, but it hasn't been proven). I would always ask him what was wrong, but he would always say that he's unhappy with his friends, his band or his university. When he broke up with me was the first time I heard him say that I make him unhappy. In my personal opinion, he's emotionaly unstable/immature. What do you think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Think about a couple things:

    1. Is this the first time the issue was brought up?

    2. If your answer to one was "yes" ask yourself, is there a chance he has felt this way for some time, but out of respect and understanding he never brought it up?

    3. Can you really change things or are there more important things that will always come first before him?

    Regardless I can think of three possibilities as to why he ended things so easily without offering an ultimatum:

    1. He found someone else that he is happier with and does not want to cheat on you, so he is doing the right thing by ending the relationship early. Personally I would never do this, but some guys will.

    2. The issue has been bothering him for some time and is causing him a lot of stress; he no longer wants to deal with the issue nor does he want to "make it work"

    3. The more you neglect someone, the quicker the "fire" dies out. He has lost interest.

    If there is not another girl, chances are you can win him over. Ask him to give you a chance by staying with you for a week or two, if he is not happy, he can end things without you trying to fight for him. If there is another girl, you may be able to win him back, but only if he realizes that he truly does want to be with you.

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    • good thinking :) it wasn't the first time the issue was brought up. That's my mistake and that's why I thought about it and told him I can make it right. The possibility no. 2 you said would be the closest to truth I guess.

      There's no other girl, but I somehow doubt that asking him to give me a chance by staying with you for a week or two would work out :/

    • It's not exactly saying "Stay with me for one week." It would be more like a probationary period. He can leave the relationship within that week at any time without any drama or excuses if he feels you have not changed. The point is the make this as easy on him as you can.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • If a guy was crazy about you, he'd give you a second chance.

    I think you don't know how he feels, really. You're just guessing and incorrectly at that.

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  • There's always a chance.

    He's not telling you the real reasons, naturally. That's why he does't listen to your offer to spend more time together.

    Most likely he just doesn't like being tied down at such a young age. So let him be single for a while. Stay in contact until he's done with his bachelor adventures!

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    • Yes, and he isn't honest about his real reasons for breaking up..of course that's very immature.

      Unstable? I ca't tell that from what you say, and bipolar, I doubt it. He's just making excuses for immature behavior imao!

    • Best Answer, no?

  • Who knows if you can get him back? Sometimes you can sometimes you cannot. It really depends on the situation. How much damage there was in the relationship.

    In any case to my mind once there has been a break up it will always be there. Like when you shatter ceramic. The cracks will always be there unless you can some how reheat the material for the cracks to be able to fuse.

    I don't think that if it was true love there will ever be any break ups.

    Best of luck for finding your true love.

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  • Yes, there is a chance and you are not going to like it:

    Stop seeing him, stop talking to him, stop texting him, and move on.

    There is only one thing that will make your chances disappear: if you stay around him, trying to talk him into taking you back, you will drive him away.

    He broke up with you, and he is not crazy about you. If he was, he would be kissing you right now, just the way it is.

    If you stay clear of him, he MAY miss you and come back. But do you really want someone who ditched you once? I wouldn't.

    There are SO many amazing men out there, don't waste your time on him...

    CP

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  • you can't rule out that he just wants to experience new things. sometimes its as simple as he wants a new toy. guys are like that, girls are too they just don't admit it.

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  • Sorry, but he's not "crazy" about you. If he was, you two would still be together albeit on a trial bias to see if you could work your problems out. You've made it clear you want to try again, if he's interested he'll come to you.

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  • He must not have been that 'crazy' for you. You may be able to resurrect the relationship, but only time will tell.

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  • Sweet heart :-) he may be emotionally unstable and immature and there is nothing wrong for a woman to be happy with herself, proactive, and positive and being about her business. In the meantime, read fulfilling, positive books that will uplift you to step your game up. Learn a craft or hobby. And travel the world! Life is short! In reality you are one thought away from happiness. Like that old cliche goes, "birds of a feather, flock together." You really are who you associate to and even sleep with. Also, my own personal coined phrase is this, "There is no such thing as Mr. Right because no one is perfect. There is always room for Mr. Right Now and Mr. Compatible though." You are welcome to message me anytime. Be happy anyway, and have a good day.

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  • For one happy year? You were happy, but he wasn't. So logically it wasn't completely happy. How old is he? If he is in your age bracket, he could be going through his player stage and not ready for complete commitment and needs to gain more life experience on his part naturally. You are young. Sex to a man, it is a primal need, we are physical by nature. How long have you abstained and put him off on sex? Do not ever, ever define yourself by your past relationships but rather learn and grow from them. There is so much more and more to experience in life. Be happy anyway. Get your mind right :-)

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  • There's no logic in it.

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  • what I realized is that while one person in the relationship might think everything is perfect, the other person might have been having issues for a while and have just kept it to themselves.

    it seems that the breakup is over a small issue that can be fixed rather easily, but he's just not willing to even give you a chance. it could be possible that he's using this issue as an excuse for breaking up so he doesn't have to bring up the real issues that he feels like breaking up over. another possibility is that this could be the final straw/ buildup of numerous issues or incidents that he has kept to himself.

    who knows, maybe he could be interested in someone else. people in the 18-24 age range are generally not ready for long-term relationships. even if it seems like they are, a few years down the line they get this itch to see what else is out there or they start to lose interest level and that so called "feeling"... I think they call this gigs or something.

    early 20's is when people usually hit their prime (or at least when they think they do) and get the feeling that they don't want to get tied down. I want to remind you that there are tons of sad breakup stories about how relationships end all of a sudden over a small fight, when one of the partners goes on vacation, when one person starts a new job, goes to a new college, and the list goes on. usually the person getting dumped is left scratching their head not even sure what happened. what I'm trying to say is that there are so many things that can be the reason. if you have no idea what it is, there is no possible way any of us can know either. we can only point out possibilities. something as simple as meeting a new girl at school, work, or a party could just as easily be the reason as him just needing a break.

    i always feel that there is a 50/50 chance of any relationship getting a second chance. in reality though, there is nothing concrete anybody can tell you about the chances. every relationship and person is different. there are just too many variables involved. even the slightest reminder could trigger a positive memory of the relationship and make him miss you. in retrospect, the slightest event could also remind him why he broke up with you in the first place.

    my advice is to read up on some breakup/relationship advice. I feel like too many people bash those breakup tips and brand it as childish games. those people aren't acknowledging that we are all humans and emotions/feelings have a lot to do with human psychology.

    just my opinion though.

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    • thanks for the advice :) I agree with you, I posted the question because I wanted to hear different opinions and point of view :)

  • Nobody just gives up on an otherwise stable relationship for a reason like that.

    Especially not when you're "crazy" about them.

    There's someone else.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like his problems run deeper than you might think. It doesn't make sense that he wouldn't give you a second chance if the only problem was that you weren't spending enough time together. I think there was something else bugging him. Maybe he has just fallen out of love with you, and used the "we don't see each other enough" thing as an excuse. I don't know. But one thing is for sure; if he was crazy about you, he wouldn't have broken up with you over such a small thing.

    Take a step back and let go of him. If he really wants to be with you, he'll come back. If he doesn't, then I guess you'll have to move on.

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    • @update: yes, clearly he is emotionally unstable. But if he told you that you make him unhappy, and that he really meant it, chances are he has fallen out with you, and that you won't get back together. I say you should let him go.

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