Why do I miss the abuse...?

I love my current boyfriend. He gets along with my family well. He says the right things. He doesn't hurt me. And our relationship is so perfect. But... I missthe way me and my ex screamed and fought I don't know why. Just randomly when my boyfriends busy with his friends I get a chill down my spine and begin to feel lonely and miss the way he treated me horrible. I don't miss him I just miss the horrible treatment. Sick yes I don't know why I do. I'm glad the relationship with him is over. Is this normal?

0|0
17

Most Helpful Guy

  • It may be important to analyze why you may miss that behavior. For instance, when a couple is screaming and yelling and fighting with each other it releases hormones into your body to deal with the stress. It's kind of like it's own high. You feel alive even if you're not particularly happy. It's probably that that you "miss", you became used to conflict and now you are without conflict. Role playing with your new boyfriend may help you gain some of that feeling back without associating it with your old boyfriend.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • That's not abnormal as a reaction if there's previous abuse or malingering self-image. Usually people who feel this way either hate themselves and "believe they deserved it" or have had some kind of abuse whether it be from peers or parents. Getting into fights and screaming matches with people and enjoying it is not a good sign but it's a sign of an underlying issue.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Your messing up a relationship because of the hurt you have been through before. Its very common and you sound a bit jaded. Tell your boyfriend this and maybe he can help you through it. Your boyfriend feels as if this is a good relationship when in fact its on the verge of blowing up in his face. Honestly just let it go any councilor out there will give you some speil on how you do not feel worth it or you feel your new guy does not give you the same attention the drama filled guy did. When you hang out with your dude and everything is fine you feel as if their was no emotion there. With your ex you worried about the fight all day long through work etc. You now have a free mind and its wondering why you do not feel so invested in this awesome guy. Fix yourself and tell your boyfriend everything you are going through or he will feel as if you are neglecting him. Never hide things from your SO but do not lay on the drama thick either. There is a balance.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like you don't think you deserve better. Or you crave drama.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Seems like you're used to it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you probably need counseling. Generally this is what you hear from abuse victims.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, it's not normal. Maybe you need counselling.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • That's all you were used to, like a belief slowly ingrained in your subconsciousness that you believe that getting treated badly is the norm of a relationship and no, getting abused is not 'love'. This is common in a lot of relationships.

    Time to accept that you deserved to be treated better and more.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...