What speaks louder, Actions or Words?

Okay, a bit of backstory: I broke up with him a little less than a month ago, we're still living( and sleeping) together for the time being.

My ex keeps telling me that he wants me back, will do whatever it takes to get me back, will wait for me, loves me yada yada yada. He still texts me a lot and sends little hearts and pictures in the texts and says he loves me. He also keeps telling me that he doesn't want anyone else, that I'm his soul mate and the only one he wants.

I found out that he was back on a dating site and was talking to other women. When I confronted him, he said he was trying to hurt me and that he did it because he was hurt myself. Also said he wasn't talking to anybody. Then I found out that not only is he texting a few other women he met on the site ( as well as the girl he'd cheated on me with) he was sexy texting ( to the point of describing sexual acts and positions)! He even went on a date the other night. Then came home and tried to have sex with me.

[ side note: that same night a male friend texted me late and asked if I wanted to come over and watch a movie. We're flirty but still platonic. The ex flipped out! Accused me of lying and hiding things ( I told who texted and what, so not hiding anything). I found out after that he'd just been on a date and was hiding it from me]

So, here's the question: Why is he telling me one thing but still sneaking around behind my back? Really, why would he bother to try dating anybody else if I'm the only one he wants ( his words)? Do I listen to his words or his actions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • actions

    • Thanks for the answer, beastman88. Any perspective on WTF is going through his head or how I should deal with it?

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What Guys Said 2

  • actions...and why the hell are you still living and sleeping together?! he's a grown man, let him find his own place to stay. You've broken up, it's time to move on.

    • He's only staying until the end of the month and then he's moving out. I'm trying my best to keep things civil as he still owes me money and he said he'd help me with some computer stuff before he went. He doesn't know that I know about the texting and the date. It might sound mean or shallow but I want to hold onto that info until he's finished working on my computer.

    • it doesn't even matter if you tell him or not. and "trying to keep things civil" is bullsh*t. It does no one good...tell him to give you what he owes, fix the computer, and get out...it's only the 18th, no way it'd take until the end of the month to fix a computer...

  • It's always actions. It's hard to cover it up.


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