My girlfriend says she still has feelings for her ex...

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for alittle over a month now. Well she had a kid with her ex so they keep in contact. Well she said she has feelings for me but admitted to me that she still has feelings for her ex even thought she's not in love with him and doesn't want to be with him. They were together for about 5 years. He's the one that left her. Nobody like him... not her friends, especially her mom. He said that he wasn't in love with her anymore that's why he left her. They were suppose to get married. They have been separated for about six months now. I don't even like the guy from what she told me about him. He's a real piece . She said she doesn't want to lose me and she has strong feelings for me but she can't fall in love with me with her feelings for him still intact. Any thoughts on what I should do? I want to support her but this is all to much. I don't want to be second place in her heart, but I do love her...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She will always have a connection to that man because she has a child with him. Find another woman who likes only you and won't have to deal with her ex's child. Even without the kid in the picture, five years is a long time. I dated someone who had an ex of five years and he went right back to her but still wanted to keep me in his life (hell no). She's going to try to push your limits and see how much she can get away with seeing him if she still likes him. You do not want this mess. You will be thankful if you stop talking to her when you're starting to go out and meet new people.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think your relationship has happened far too quickly after their split. It is really early days for you guys still for all those feelings to just come flooding back to her. She probably cares about him as her childs father that's all. I really do think she needs more time to get hooked up again so fast.

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  • You deserve better than someone whose heart doesn't belong to you only. Seriously. There's nothing you can do but move on.

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  • She still has feelings for him but isn't in love with him? Has feelings for you, but can't fall in love with you because of him? What does that even mean?

    Either way, if that's the case she shouldn't be with you, and you shouldn't be asking what's your place in her life (and her kid's life?) and what should you do...

    I agree with the person below, it was too early for her to enter a new relationship, and the other people also gave good advice.

    Think she still loves her ex, but after everything how could she say so? There are many possible reasons for her to be dating you, but clearly love isn't one of them...

    It's not like she's leading you on, and maybe she will end up falling in love with you many months/ years from now if you both are, knowingly, still willing to wait and work on it...

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What Guys Said 4

  • You could be a rebound. Well you may not want to hear this but just end it now before things get too serious. You can help her get through as friends if you still wish. Just tell her you really like her but she still needs more time. Its up to her to get over her not your problem. Don't get attached what I say.

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  • When a girl says that she has feelings for her ex, that's a big warning sign.

    Tell her that you won't accept her trying to put you at in second place, she has to pick someone to go after and that's either you or him. She is going to have to decide, otherwise you'll be waiting and eventually she'll go back to him again, despite the fact that he's an a**hole.

    I just don't get how people can still have emotions for someone who treats/treated you like dirt, this goes for both genders.

    Some emotions for some people just outweighs their logical sense just enough that they won't realize who they actually are going after/what they are actually doing.

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  • You know that it's time to leave her. She seems to be using you as a rebound.

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  • You're dating a single mother.

    She's reminded of that man every time she looks at his child.

    Break up with her and find a girl who isn't so used. There's plenty of them out there, and they don't put you second or third place.

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