How do I get my boyfriend back when I picked someone else over him in the past?

My boyfriend and I dated 9 years ago. About 5 years after that we hung out again and I told him I wanted to be with him but he said no. Then later he changed his mind but I was dating someone else. He said I picked this guy over him. Flash forward to today, we got back together 2 1/2 months ago. We took a fantastic vacation together. I'm still in love with him. He just broke up with me because he can't get over that I picked someone else over him.

Please tell me how to fix this and get him back. I love him and he's wonderful and we're good together. I don't want to lose him again. I need to know what to say/do to fix this so he knows he can trust me and that I think the world of him and would never pick anyone over him.

Sorry this is long.
Also, he said before I made him feel bad about certain things about himself. Which I feel awful about. Especially since I don't believe any of what I said before, nor do I remember it. It was 4 years ago.

And please don't judge him. He really is a good, nice, caring guy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • did he not go with anyone else in that whole time you were apart? the past is the past and it's clear you want to be with him once he stops being inscure he will realize this. the other answers say give up but if you really want him then keep trying. good luck


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What Guys Said 3

  • LMAO. "I told him I wanted to be with him but he said no. Then later he changed his mind."

    It is pretty clear that *he* chose someone over you and he's doing something called transference where he puts his issues out as if they're all your fault.

    Were you supposed to wait for him until he came back to you - he's a little boy. You gave him what he wanted on the vacation and he has twisted your head to the point that you're his sex toy - one that he can put in the drawer and pull out when he wants some. Maybe he's even doing this to punish you from whatever things you said in the past.

    It isn't about trust - he knows that he can trust you completely - you're a sex toy locked in his drawer. If you like being his toy, stick around. If you want to be a real person - run away.

    • Wow. Nope.

    • LOL - OK, but it really was my best attempt at an answer. At the very least, stop beating yourself up and start looking with open eyes.

  • We make choices in life we have to live with the results. Have fun

    • What exactly do you mean by this?

    • You chose someone else. Now you have to love with it. If you chose someone else over me I would forget you and move on because you made your choice

    • But I did pick him. He said he didn't want to be with me. I started dating someone else and then he changed his mind. So, I did pick him. I just didn't break up with someone cause he changed his mind. I should have but it seemed wrong to do at the time.

  • If he is still busted up over something that happened 5 years ago, he's never going to get over it.

    You might as well just forget about him. The baby knows how to hold a grudge.


What Girls Said 3

  • I think you must ask to him the reason why he wasn't do well for you, you can let him look back,you must let him know he was happiness when you get together

  • It sounds like the other comments are right...

    Why would he bring this stuff up after you got back together 2 1/2 months ago? He should have thought about that before, but he didn't bring it up until he could have some fun and maybe test things, did he?

    If you think about it, this is like the 3rd time you guys get together and he was also the one who broke things up last time. It's absurd he's hurt you didn't break up with your boyfriend at the time to get back with him (good thing you didn't!) and it's even more absurd he's bringing this up now, when you two could finally be together. But obviously that's is not is first concern.

    I know a few self-centered nice guys.

    Bottom line, he isn't thinking about you and that "I can't get over it" line should have been said 2 1/2 months ago. Sorry, sounds like a good excuse now and there probably isn't much you can do =/

  • Let him know how much you love him and Tell him he can't get mad because you wanted to be with him and he said no, but then comes back when you have someone else. It's unfair what he's doing and let him know that. He can't have you when he's good and ready, he needs to think about you too. He's a selfish person. If you explain to him that he can't get mad at your for moving on when he clearly said no and he still doesn't get it, let him have it. Let him know he's a selfish a**hole who thinks of no one but himself.

    • He's actually not a selfish a**hole at all. I hurt him. Put yourself in his shoes. I broke it, I fix it.

    • Oh, sweetie. You didn't break it - if he loved you, he'd forgive the things you said. You didn't break anything and you don't owe it to him to fix things.

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