The funny part is I had no problems with any of that it all came naturally. I'm not proud of it but I could play the game with the best of them and I actually never came across a girl that I could not get.
Then I meat my ex and we were together for eight years and while she's a great person and I really loved her and still care for her a lot we destroyed each other during this time. The sad part is she was able to completely destroy my self esteem and as a result since we broke up I have no idea what I'm doing with women.
I find myself finding a woman I really like and for some reason sometimes I have the feeling that they might like me or be interested in me also. But then I start to doubt myself and start making stupid stuff making me nervous causing her to lose interest or if I'm fairly sure she's interested I can't seem to make a move or even figure out it's time to do something and as a result they get angry with me and lose interest.
I'm so fed up off this happening when I'm really interested in a girl that it makes me feel even worse about myself and start thinking that if I was one of the women I like there would literally be no reason for me to want myself. Who would!
And with every new failure comes a new even bigger one that hurts me even more and makes me even more scared of making a move and making a complete fool out of myself.
And I've had some really stupid failures in the last couple of years. One girl I liked kept inviting me for lunch and going out with me on causal dates and eventually invited me to go on vacation with her to a tropical paradise. I was so stupid that I couldn't find the guts to make a move and as a result she lost interest in me and we haven't seen each other in months. Then came another one that kept going out with me and I also liked and once she was actually at my place and stayed the whole night and I didn't know what to do. She never talked to me again.
Then there was another one that we had chemistry and went out one time and I was actually holding her in my arms but just couldn't find the guts to kiss her or something. Couldn't get her to go out with me again if I payed her. And the last one is a girl that we meat and had such chemistry that I was almost 100% sure she was interested and the next time I saw her it was the same chemistry but I just can't seem to find the confidence to feel good about it and get her. I'm really falling in love with her and I feel like she's slipping away and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I already know I'm going to crash and burn here and it's making me feel even worse about myself.
I'm lost I want to get out of this loop that I'm stuck in but don't know how.
Thanks for reading and the help.