Boyfriend has a stalker

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. He's amazing. Everything I've always wanted and more. We have so much fun together, text each other all day/everyday, went camping for three days and had a blast and we're planning another mini-vacation in a few weeks. Up until this point we've only had once disagreement and were able to get past it. I truly feel like he respects me and I respect him as a man. Well, right before we met, he dated this younger girl for 2 weeks. He broke up with her when he found out she was bipolar and anorexic. She is a very sick girl. I can see her FB profile and it's disturbing. Well, when he tried to break up with her she stalked him, harassed him, wrote him love letters, went to his place of work and made friends with people there, gave them letters to give to him etc. She drove by his house numerous times and even put a picture of an ultrasound on FB and claimed she was pregnant. He made her take a pregnancy test and it was negative. She is best friends with his sergeant at work and he feels like he can't get away from her. Everyone at his job associates this crazy girl with him. I don't think people understand how stressed out this makes him and how this girl affected his life in a very negative way. He's always been honest with me about it and even told me she knew my car was at his house because she would drive by (she works down the st from his house so she does have to drive by on a daily basis). It really didn't bother me because I know he doesn't like her and he treats me like a Queen. It just bothers me that it stresses him out so much. Well, cut to last night. we were on our way to dinner and this blond girl in a smashed up car (she had just gotten into a car accident) drove by us. I jokingly beeped at the car (didn't really think it was her). It ended up being her and he flipped out. Telling me now she was going to blow up his house and come after us etc. It ruined our whole night. I always sleep over on his nights off and I just dropped him off at home and went back to my place. We had plans today to go hunting and out to lunch and he left without me. Says he needs time to himself because this girl makes his blood pressure so high and he doesn't know how to relax. I'm wondering if this is something that will pass? I'm giving him is space today and I sent him a nice text that said "I'm sorry for beeping at her, I didn't know how stressed out it would make you. I hope you have fun today and I'm here for you if you need anything" Like, I know the girl was a stalker but apparently I don't know the extent of it. Should I give him another chance (thats to say if he even wants to still be in a relationship with me). I'm so sad he is letting this girl ruin our amazing time together. I wish he would see what he has in front of him instead of letting this crazy girl take over his life. How much time should I give him? I mean, I deserve an explanation right?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Give him a few days but after that he really should have forgiven you for the mistake of beeping at her and decided that he won't let someone else's psychological problems come between the two of you. If he seems too willing to let this come between you try to get him to see that that's not fair on either of you. The two of you shouldn't be split up by someone else's behavior .

    Re: the general problem of this girl and her strange behavior , she needs psychological help from a professional. I wonder if she is getting any and if not whether there is anyone who can convince her to seek some? Stuff like this never ends well for anyone, least of all the person suffering the pyschological problems, without proper intervention.

    Good luck.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Have you tried reporting this to the police. It's intrusion of privacy

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  • Of course you deserve an explanation, but unfortunately not everyone gets what they deserve.

    The whole situation seems extremely troublesome. Now, first and formost you must consider your own safety. This "stalker" may be bluffing but it's always better to be safe. Whatever happened in the past with your boyfriend and this girl is their problem, and you have no business being sucked into their issues. If he needs time to figure this out with her, I think it may be best for you to let him.

    If you two do decide to stay together and this woman continues to harass you, I would look into judicial restraint. Anytime you feel like your well being, either physical and mental, is at risk, call someone immediately.

    Long story short: Watch out for yourself. Sometimes what may seem like a happy relationship worth enduring, may be more harmful than you realize.

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