Long story short, I'm going out with an amazing guy right now. He's 24. Anyways as I was saying, He's amazing in every way and we've been going out for 2 months. Here's my problem. Last year of September, his relationship ended with his ex fiance. Yes, he almost got married and this woman had a kid from another man. They went out for 2 years, and because she had a kid, they were basically like family. And that all fell apart last September. He has been cheated on by her and lied to multiple times of course by her. 7 months later, which should be April, is when I met him, and on the 22nd is when he asked me out, and tomorrow is going to be 2 months. one month of us going out, was all fun and cute, honeymoon stage of course. but a few days after the one month mark hit, it started going down. He talked to me one night telling me how I was being suspicious, always taking my phone with me to go talk to people, he didn't understand why I couldn't just stay in the same room as him and talk to my friends, then also when I'd text people, and he'd try to see, I'd try to hide my phone, but I only meant it in a playful way. I wasn't really try to hide anything from him, but it bothered him because his ex did it, she was suspicious, but she was actually doing stuff behind his back, while I on the other hand am not doing anything. So, because of stupid issues like that, he doesn't trust me, though the way he makes it seem is as if I've already cheated on him and lied to him multiple times. Which I have not, During the two months he & I have gone out, I haven't done anything super bad or anything physical, or talked to or flirted with any guys while going out with him, all I did was act "suspicious" and it makes no sense to me for him to pull back. Since he doesn't trust me, he is now basically being distant and ignoring, TESTING ME. and I'll quote the text he said. I talked to him last night asking why he was so distant and he said, "This is just what I want, like I said, I want to see what you do, so me spending less time with you shows me what you do and what decisions you make without me around or without me influencing you." No, how is being distant going to help you try to trust me? He's so insecure and it makes me mad and sad. I think, in my opinion, he is just killing our relationship doing this, not talking to me at all nor wanting to see me. I just wish there was some way to show him that I'm here to stay and that I'm different. I AM NOT HIS EX. I'm not and never would cheat on him or lie to him about stupid things. I'm loyal and honest. and I wish he could just trust me, trust that I won't hurt him, but I understand where he's coming from, because I've been in a situation like him, I never thought I'd be able to let a boy into my life again because I've been hurt so badly before, but I accepted him, and I'm happy I did because he really is an amazing, sweetest guy ever, !
what should I do? I haven't seen him for already about 3 weeks. And I really miss him.
Most Helpful Girl
A sweet guy doesn't make accusations, and doesn't play mind games. Maybe when he truly gets over his issues he'll have the potential to be sweet. Your relationship doesn't stand a chance if he can't trust you and if he continues to punish you for someone else's behavior. He sounds a little controlling at the moment (manipulative at least) and that's not good. You could hang in there a little while longer, but you have to be very clear to him that he needs to work on his behavior, straight up tell him you are not his ex and don't appreciate being treated as such. Remind him of your past experience with the cheating you delt with and that you could never do that to someone just like you trust him not to do it to you. And you deserve trust to go both ways! Give it some time (set a time for yourself that you'll try to make it work) if things arnt improving leave. You'll have done everything you could by then and open his eyes. Don't tell him your giving him an ultimatum though. He won't appreciate being threatened, but do this for yourself!1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE