it was in a bad time already when you asked me out but I really wanted to be with you so I said yes and tried to make it work but I guess I just can't right now:(" the I replied with this "well...i really love you so if you feel like it can work later then ill still love you...cause I'm gonna be honest. its gonna take me a while to get over you...like a WHILE. you are really special to me :(" and she answered with this "i love you too:( and maybe it will, I'm so sorry cooper I NEVER wanted to do this to you and you are too". SO my question is do you think we have a chance at getting back together or not. because I REALLY love this girl and am having a really hard time right now. Thanks for any help.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm going to be 100% straight with you, because I've been here several times and it's always the same thing.
"I don't feel like I should be dating anyone right now" means "I don't feel like I should be dating YOU". She's not interested in being in a relationship with YOU. It does NOT under ANY circumstance mean that she's not interested in DATING in general. She is. I promise you that.
And it's very, very likely that she's got someone else she's interested in. Probably someone that she's been casually talking to, who has been hitting on her, and she's wanting to see where that goes.
Do NOT be surprised when you discover this. Nobody leaves a stable relationship without damn good cause. She likes you, and would have been perfectly content to continue dating you because you were comfortable, and she could trust you, and that's always preferable to being alone. She left you because she had a reason, and "I just want to be alone" is never a valid reason.
And this is what people don't understand about breakups. Lying to you about her interest in someone else may temporarily give you some comfort, but once you've got confirmation that she's lied to you, then there will be broken trust, and that hurts more than the transgression of allowing herself to be seduced. And her leading you on in the process by giving you hope that she'll want to get back together is just going to make you resentful.
Now, I know you love this girl and you want her back. I sympathize with that. I truly do, because like I said, I've been there. Several, times.
So do not contact her. You're going to want to do so. You're going to want to tell her how you feel. You're going to want to see how she's doing. You're going to want to keep checking to see if she's changed her mind. But don't do it. Don't message her on Facebook, don't text her, don't call her. It's just going to make things worse for you and her.
If she contacts you, you may be cordial. Don't be an a**hole, but don't be nice either. Be short and to the point. Absence is the only thing that might help you at this point, but listen. IT PROBABLY WON'T. The REASON you need NO CONTACT is because YOU need to move on, because statistically speaking, that's GOING to be the end result. You are very likely NOT getting back together.
But you can go ahead and hold out hope for awhile. That's okay. Just don't waste too much of your time on her, you're more valuable than that, and you're ultimately just depriving yourself of the chance to find someone else who appreciates you.