How can I get my girlfriend to lighten up about house rules?

I'm just moving back in with my girlfriend after about 3 years. We've been together 7 years, and we lived together for 3 years before. She was back and forth out of the area for a while, but she's back now and we can settle back in.

Problem is, I don't remember her being this uptight the first time around. She keeps coming at me with all these rules. I can't use her hand towel. I can only have my toiletries in a certain place. I can only have half of one of the closets for my clothes. She wants me to throw out half my stuff. She's giving me the stink eye about everything I bring in. She's being a total control freak. If I say anything back, it's ME who has the attitude.

I'm coming off 3 years of living in my own man cave. I do what I want, I answer to no one. I believe strongly that "a man's home is his castle." I can't have all these rules imposed on me, or else I'll be miserable. I need to do what I want, when I want, how I want. And honestly, it doesn't cross her that much. But she's already complaining at every move I make. Our relationship is rock solid, but I'm finding myself thinking "what am I getting myself into?" when it comes to living together. And it wasn't like this the first time. What should I do? I'm at a loss.


Most Helpful Guy

  • And when your stuff starts to go missing and you ask her about it, she'll say "Why am I supposed to keep up with YOUR stuff?" In actuality, she is throwing your stuff away and replacing them with her clothes, her knickknacks, her countless floral patterned fabrics. She even changed your toothbrush because the colors didn't really fit the bathrooms motif. Then one day, you'll realize that they only items that are truly yours are the clothes in your dresser, but then you remember that she's been buying your clothes and changing your style all along.

    Well anyway, good luck. Sounds like fun.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Even if it WAS her house, it's now both of your house and she should not be dictating what you do and where things go. If she's that possessive over the place maybe you should move into common ground (a new home) if that's a feasible option.

    Talk to her and tell her how you feel it to be uncomfortable and you just feel like a guest in her home since she has so many rules.

    The word "uncomfortable" is a gem. 99% of the time I use it the unwanted behavior stops :)


What Guys Said 1

  • Regardless of whether or not you don't like her rules, it's her house. Maybe try and comprise with her? and ask her for more space? if she can spare it.

    • Shouldn't it be OUR house? And it's not the rules that I so much have a problem with, it's the complaining. I just can't hear incessant b*itching day in and day out.

    • Oh I think I may have misread your question, thought that you moved into her house, if you help pay the bills, yeah she should comprimise and be nicer.