I really struggled with it this whole two months and I would get drunk and text her mean stuff, nothing super out of the way just stuff like "You know it didn't hurt as much that there was another guy, just that you would rather the comfort of another man then talk to me. That you would rather run to another man then tell me that whatever I am or was doing is either going to have to stop or we are done" stuff like that.
I have never cussed at her. anyway, I finally got over it, I texted her saying that I want to work everything out and that I will be moving back into town in two weeks. Now we did talk just about everyday these two months, but I could never get her to answer her phone, it was just texts, which I didn't like. We might have talked on the phone three times.
So she said mt begging for her back reminded her of when she was begging for me to stay, and that she was never good enough for me. I have been trying to get her to talk to me, two nights ago I asked if she was done with me and she said no, I asked if she still wants me and she said that does and has for a long time that I know that. So I asked if she still loves me, and she said "Ofcourse!" I couldn't however get her to actually say it.
Last night she wouldn't have a actual conversion. She was just sending random phrases. Stuff like "What is a beautiful girl like you doing alone on this island" she sent that twice which is odd because there is a island that I proposed to her on in our town. and I asked her to meet me there whenever I move back. She also sent me two pictures, which she had taken before I think, and she also said "Nobody move nobody gets hurt"
I couldn't get her to actually talk to me. So now I don't know what to think. I don't know if she wants me or not. I had planned on moving in two weeks I don't have a place to stay, or a for sure job, I have a few leads. My point, me moving will be really hard on me, but if I can get us to work out I don't mind suffering something like that for a couple of weeks. I just don't know what to do with her...I feel like she won't tell me how she feels or what she wants. I did try to go see her twice, she never said she didn't want me there but she let me know by making excuses and ignoring me. Her grandfather died and I wanted to be there for her. She said she didn't want me there because it would cause more drama with her parents, and she didn't want to deal with it, what is that? Then again for her birthday, she ignored me, I think I'm being jerked around.