Time for a break or a break-up?

My boyfriend and I have been together just about 11 months now, things had a rocky start, but generally things have been fine 'til the last month. My boyfriend has always been stubborn, sneaky about what he's doing or who he's with because he's SCARED to tell me, says he listens but doesn't and causes problems for himself that I am just getting sick of because he takes it out on me. I did warn him that if things kept going this way there would be a break-up, and I suggested a break last night but he just cried... he has told me things would change and they haven't... I'm not sure what to do. What do you guys think? Time for a break or a break-up? Thank you for all your responses, it'll help so much!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Try the break (a week or two) first because then that leaves a chance of you guys getting back together, and maybe stronger the next time around. If things can't be worked out during that time then it's probably time to break-up. When change is needed, someone needs to make that change because it won't happen by itself. If it's him then he has to be willing to make the necessary changes. If by chance you haven't been completely fair, then you have to compromise too. It's OK for both you to give a little if that will make your relationship better so be prepared to make some kind of a change but expect him to make the biggest change since it seems from your question that he's been the stubborn and sneaky one. But be aware that taking a break usually ends in a break-up because taking a break is usually just an easier way to break up because the time factor lessens the impact and usually doesn't end in a fight or crying. I wish you the best of luck!

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    • Thanks so much, this really helps alot! :)

    • You're so welcome! Thanks for the BA! :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but it sounds like he's not a good match for you.

    I'd start of with taking a break and, however difficult it will be, try to rationally figure out whether or not he is a good boyfriend for you.

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    • Funny enough, I've been told that before. Thank you! I appreciate your reply. :)

  • It's time for a breakup

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What Girls Said 4

  • He shouldn't be scared to tell you anything, and if he's being sneaky about what he's doing or who he is with then that's a red flag because he should have no problem telling you that stuff if he is loyal and honest. Also I've been there he isn't going to change because my ex kept saying things would change and he would be better but nothing did and it got worse. I think you're better off with out him.

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  • break...take some time

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  • take a break and make him think you migh tnot want to come back so that he sees how much he needs to change.

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  • just break with him, scare him into actually doing something to change things if he does care

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    • I actually did say about the break-up last night, but I asked him if he was okay with that and he said no and just got so upset I let it slip. I shouldn't be so soft-hearted for him.

    • yes, you shouldnt

    • Don't forget you can't not be happy to make someone else happy. Just wouldn't be fair to you.

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