Please someone advise me sensitively! should I stay or should I go?

We've been together a year. He's a cancer. I'm a Virgo. I'm 18 (mentally 40) he's 25, mentally 14. He smokes pot. I don't smoke or drink. We've been together a year and things were great at first but the last few months I've been taking his sh*t, I've accepted when he screams at me and when he's threatened to hit me and told me to f*** off because I understand he's been stressed but now I'm at the end of my rope, I suffer with depression but don't dwell on it, I give everything when I'm in. A relationship but tend not to get back. I planned a holiday for his birthday but he only just did his passport last week and we're supposed to be going tomorrow, he's being totally ungrateful about it all, telling me he doesn't want to go where I'm taking him even though I'm paying for it. He doesn't know how to speak nicely to me and it constantly hurts. What should I do? Should I remain in a relationship with him? I don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't want to seem like I'm being brash and heartless but I really need some sensitive advice and help... Please! :'(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As far as your relationship, you should highly consider getting out of it while you still have your head on straight and your thinking is good. You don't want to wait until it gets to be a REALLY huge deal to leave. As far as the trip, if there’s any possibility of you having fun, then please go. If there’s a chance to take a friend instead that would be better so that you’re not alone Everything in life is always changing be it the seasons, nature, our health, age, our relationships, people, etc. Nothing ever stands still. There are changes that take place fairly fast like the second hand of a clock. Others a little slower like the minute hand, and others like the hour hand that you don't notice because they eye can't see it moving. But you do once an hour has gone by. I think changes in your relationship were changing like the hour hand soon after you started being together from bad to worse because there are too many differences in your makeup and outlook on life as compared to your boyfriend’s. You’ve really tried to accept the differences and I give you credit for that, but it clearly hasn’t been working. Each person is responsible for their own lives and how they live in once they’re old enough. In your situation you have to take a stand and worry about your feelings more than his. If you don’t save your own mentality then you’ll both end up in a mess. He needs to take care of himself and he can only do that when he’s apart from you. You don’t have to go about this in a brash and heartless manner. Just tell him at one time you were really happy with him, but that he must realize that it’s been downhill for some time. Tell him you need a break to save your own health and emotional well-being. Do not be persuaded to stay based on his feelings nor tears, nor anger. Once you decide to leave then just go! I wish you good luck so take care.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Please get out of this while you still can. You deserve better. No girl should be treated this way.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Cancers are well known for being moody (on the not so good side) and being a bully. And Virgos really need to be treated delicately, as they're emotionally fragile.

    It doesn't give him the right to be an insensitive a**hole to treat you like sh*t esp. when he knows you suffer from depression. You deserve to be treated well.

    I was going to say - give him an ultimatum/ last chance to ask him to treat you nicely or you'll leave him as you go to your trip tomorrow. But as you pointed out, he has threatened to hit you before. (Violent tendencies) I suggest you should tell him at the end of the trip (in a public place?) and see how he reacts?

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  • you should go,you deserve better

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  • yes, find someone better!

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