Will he take me back?

So my boyfriend & I (which are on a break now) have dated 8, almost 9 months. We agreed on having a break because his feelings for me are not the same anymore & needed to think things through. I used to get jealous and insecure quite easily and love to be affectionate in public. Problem is, he doesn't like to be affectionate in public and he's only told me that recently. (Would've been nice if he told me earlier lol) He's also told me things he's comfortable & uncomfortable with in a relationship recently, which he should have told me earlier because I have told him mine ages ago... I have ditched my jealous and selfish ways knowing that it's obviously harming our relationship. He also mentioned to me that I have been the best he's had and the longest as well. We were each others' firsts (If you know what I mean) and it meant a lot to me. I'm planning to ask him back out soon to make it official again, because I really miss "us" and I have changed for the better. Do you think he will take me back?

Updates:
@blackkid2

Well he's very affectionate when we're alone and I did mention a couple things about him. But I guess I should add a bit more :)

He's very loyal, trusts me and is comfortable around me

He used to talk to me a lot and was very romantic and lovey dovey. Which died down after a couple of months, which is normal I guess. He suggested that I should give him time instead of texting him all the time, which I did.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No idea. You told us about you, not him, so there's no way we can know how he will react.

    Anyway, yes, he will take you back, because.

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    • Submitted update :)

    • Show All
    • I hope it works out for you. Do update us.

    • Definitely will!

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What Guys Said 2

  • the truth is he doesn't want you anymore and just using you for support when his down. he is seeing other girls and its time to move on. don't worry about one guy there's tons of guys out there.

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  • no

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What Girls Said 5

  • Sometimes guys say that because they want to end it but are afraid of hurting you. My guess is no, he won't take you back. It may be better to give him space so if he does want you back he has to make that clear decision on his own. It also allows you dignity. You don't want to chase a guy who is trying to let you down easy or scare off one by coming across as needy, who just needs a bit of time.

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    • It may be the case. But when we started the break he told me he cried about it because he doesn't want us to end yet. So I'm getting mixed feelings about this :/

  • i think there is a chance

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  • well I think htere is a possibility

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  • i think there is a good possibility he might

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  • The question is will you take him back after you read the following?

    Are you sure he wasn't giving you 'a line' about how "he needed to think about his feelings" because he was afraid you would get emotional otherwise? A lot of times, guys ask for breaks so that it would ease their girlfriends into the break-up. Other times, they ask for breaks so that they could sleep around OR date a new girl of interest while keeping the former girlfriend as a back-up when the new girl eventually rejects him. You mentioned how he used to be romantic and lovey-dovey but stopped. It seems like he's the type that loves the chase and honeymoon stages of the relationship. That's not good in the long run because it means he'll always be chasing somebody else eventually when he gets comfortable (and is taking you for granted which he has already) and leaving you in heart ache each time that he does.

    I know you miss the 'us.' That was your first relationship and I know it would be so romantic if you guys ended up together after all this time. However, you shouldn't trust guys that ask for breaks so easily just to fix problems. It means that he's going to use 'the break' to keep you in line each time you do something that doesn't make him happy. In the long term, do you really want to be with someone that tells you to go away each time you become someone that he finds annoying. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who would stay with you and work together with you no matter what to make the relationship the best it could be. That's what a long-term meaningful relationship is and will be strong enough to withstand the diminishing looks that comes with age. That means much more than being with your first.

    A lot of guys actually admit that if they thought that they met 'The One,' they would never subject 'The One' to a break because the guy would be scared of losing her to another guy. He was not initially scared of that. That says a lot. He already concluded that he does not mind losing you. However, keep in mind that him pursuing you after YOU found someone else just means that he's worried that his back up is gone. That's it. People who ask for breaks tend to break up with that same person at least one more time. He gave you up once. He will feel the same again.

    What were your jealous and selfish ways? Were they really unreasonable? Sometimes the one with the wandering eyes doesn't want you to catch on and so, deflects blame for the ending relationship onto you (so you wouldn't realize until much later)

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    • He isn't my first boyfriend. What I meant by first was virginity wise. And also he is definitely not the kind of guy who uses girls and sees another girl in a relationship and all. 100%. I have learnt so much about him way more in our break and knows how he feels about certain things. As they say, a good relationship has their ups and downs. He trusts me and doesn't fear about me going after another guy. He doesn't plan on giving us up and he wants to make things work between us.

    • cont.

      I was very jealous over him talking to other girls (yes that was extreme) as I feared he was going to leave me over it, always craving for his attention and time. I've been through really bad relationships in the past where they have cheated on me and started seeing other people during a relationship- which made me really paranoid and insecure. But he is different and I can tell, so I've changed my ways and hopefully it will lead to something good

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