Should I take him back? I like 2 different guys!!

My boyfriend of over 10 months broke up with me at his mamaw's house. Before he stopped drinking we had a bit of an abuse problem, he'd put me down and say anything to hurt my feelings, and the last time we actually got in a physical fight. He didn't hit me, but he'd grab my arms and try to go outside naked! He's a HORRIBLE drunk! I told him he had to quit drinking and he did.. well we broke up shortly after we lost our place we finally got together on our own due to a job loss.. well, he told me he wanted to break up because my family was TOO dramatic and they saw a note I wrote about the mental abuse and some of the physical stuff that happened (Again he never hit or put bruises on me).. THEN he called it my fault cause I didn't rip up the notes I had in my old bedroom at my house. How is it my fault he used to hurt me!? Well he told me to get out of his mamaw's house by the next morning, so I called my mom and left. I stayed at home tore up the next day, but when I saw he added a a girl on Facebook he told me he wanted to f**k, I realized I needed to get out and have some fun. I went out drinking with family and friends and this guy who has liked me for two years at least, possibly even three... was making me feel so much better. He almost got in a fight with his brother cause his brother made me cry (He played a song I begged him not to play because it was my ex's and my song before we were officially together). Well he hung around me day and night, until he absolutely had to go home because he was tired. Never tried to kiss me or anything the whole time, even though he was drinking. He confessed the second night we drank that he really liked me and he somehow knew what went on between me and my ex boyfriend. I almost cried. He was crying.. but he was drinking so idk. when I was with him I didn't think about my ex, I liked that a lot.. he made me feel better, like I was going to get through this and it wasn't very hard at all.. Kind of like how Jacob made Bella feel when Edward (asshat) left her in New Moon. (Funny thing is, this guy is tan like Jacob too!) Well I passed out at the party right after my cousin, and the guy laid his head on my back the whole time and wouldn't let ANYONE touch me to put shaving cream or write on me like they did my cousin. The next day my ex asked me to call him (Sunday, asking for me to come see him, well I did...even though I knew better. We got into a big argument cause I told him EVERYTHING I'd done and he hid stuff from me. He'd unblocked every girl he slept with and dated, tried to add one of the girls back, and he went and drank with his cousin and friend, so he says. I don't trust him at I went through his phone while he was sleeping to make sure I could trust him to get back with him and it turned out to be the same ol same ol. Even after he took me to eat at three different restaurants, paying everything, paid for a hotel, etc. He still was keeping secrets. I mean we weren't dating..
But I told him who I texted, who I was with and everything, & he kept all that a secret. He already was being secretive! I was kind of starting to like the other guy, but I told my ex I'd give him a chance to prove himself. I slept with him, but I could still leave, I'd just feel like an ass for lying because I have his FB password and deleted all those girls I mentioned, cause he let me. He doesn't even have mine! As soon as I left he told me to call him again & he stayed on the phone til 1-2am
He said to my dad that he was "Done with me" and that he "Wouldn't have broke up with me if he wanted me." The same day we broke up..heat of the moment or truth? I told him I am getting my dad's CELLPHONE log and if he sent some of the other messages, he can forget me getting back with him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow that's a lot to digest. I don't know where to begin. For one I would say being in a verbal relationship is just as bad as being in an physical relationship. When a person loves another, their suppose to encourage the other, support them, love them, care for them. Not the total opposite. We live in a world where there are very nasty people who wants to hurt us. And we turn to those that loves us to feel love, comfort, and secure. But if the one that suppose to love you is actually the one that's hurting you, you have to ask yourself "Is this person the one for me?" This other guy seems like a real sweetheart that can handle his liquor. Sounds like he really cares about you or else he would have taken advantage of your vulnerability. I always thought that Bella shoulda pick Jacob. But anyways she had 2 great guys whereas it seems you only had 1. Because it seems like this ex(current bf) has some serious issues. It's no telling what he does behind your back. And the fact you said you feel like you can't trust him, said a lot. A relationship has to have communication, trust, sacrifice, and love. You said you felt more better with the other guy. Wouldn't you want to have that comfort feeling always? I think you need to drop your ex and move on to the other guy. And if you do take my advice and give this new guy a chance, don't jump right into a relationship with him right away. You wouldn't want him to be rebound guy, because that's when a good thing can go bad. I wish you the best of luck.

    • That was some really good advice, I mean, the ex has worked on his problems, I just don't trust him that they're fixed. He's gotten better but I'm not so sure it'll last. Even when he's been able to prove he's done nothing I'm always suspicious. I know most of it's in my head and the only time he was ever mean to me there was alcohol involved.. but I wasn't a total angel towards him as well. I held resentment because I was a virgin and he wasn't and before his verbal abuse began for a short

    • time I was physically abusive. (I never REALLY hurt him. I still feel terrible and regret it every day. I quit drinking because I never EVER want to hurt him again and I know it was wrong holding his past against him.. It's never happened since..) I really don't know if it's the same thing.. him holding resentment for how I used to treat him for a few weeks.. or what. I owe him the second chance, but I feel guilty for liking guy #2 cause I doubt none of his actions.. but my current bf/ex is

    • trying so hard, texting me all the time, taking me out to dinner, all kinds of stuff. :) He's even gonna let me paint his nails and he'll watch all of Glee with me! :D

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