First break up - CONFUSED - enlighten me please

So 2 and a half months ago I broke up with my boyfriend whom we've dated for 2 years. Throughout these 2 years we've broken up and gotten back together countless times for the same reasons but I thought that it's time to end it.

During the break up, I tried to make it as nice and as friendly as possible. I told him how I felt we've grown apart and that we're just holding on to each other because of yes LOVE but as well as the fear of not having each other. After all, he creep on pof several times (he slipped up, long story), doesn't try to do what I ask, double standards, and huge value/interest/trust issue and conflict. I was so stressed that I couldn't even bare to hug let alone kiss him - we've talked it through and I've tried asking him for a break but he refused and I couldn't bring myself to continue.

When we broke up I did made it clear to him that I'm breaking up with him not because I don't love him but it's because we have nothing in common anymore. I told him that no matter what I will always love and care for him, it's unfortunate that we can't be together romantically but he's my best friend so I asked him if we could be friends afterward when were both over it - he said sure.

The break up had some ups and downs and our conversation ended with him saying "thanks for fffking wasting my time" and hanged up. That was 2 and 1/2 months ago - I went away for a month and a half for schooling and it didn't hit me hard until I came back (a month ago). He was my first EVERYTHING and so was I his first of EVERYTHING...

I've called him and text him but it was all ignored. Fellow guys and gals what do you think he's feeling...what do you think of me?

I noticed he has a picture up with another girl which is rare for him so you think he's moved on? Do you think he hates me?

I'm just so confused and don't know how to react or go about this situation...part of me is happy for him but of course another part is mega upset at him moving on so fast...I know this sounds stupid but a part of me had always hoped that maybe we will reunite in some distant time...what should I do?
EDIT well the girl he's potentially seeing has a picture of them up on her fb - I don't have either of them as a friend I just stalked and found out...and they're not official yet... but its highly likely he's seeing her...its just so upsetting to see/know/think about this part


Most Helpful Guy

  • okay, I'm going to answer your question with pure honesty and 100% confidence...

    You need to let go of him. Move on. I know those two years of being together with this boy might have been nice and you were in love with him, but when he doesn't answer your calls/texts and leaves you with "Thanks for wasting my time" ending one of your last conversations... That's him saying "I'm mad at you, goodbye.".

    What he's doing is he's forgetting about you by replacing you with another girl. That picture he has on his profile pic is him saying "I've forgotten you.". I don't know how many other signs you need to understand that he's forgotten/replaced you, but you need to understand that you should do the very same.

    Dating can be very repetitive, you need to realize that you should let go of him and let him "do his thing" and you will do yours. Stop talking, messaging, texting, emailing him. Find another guy who will make you happy. This is your first break up, so it will probably be the most hardest to get over.

    I understand your pain, my first breakup was with a girl who I have been with for 4 years. I still think about her every now and then. She was my first everything. As time changes, so do people. She's a completely different person now, and I'm happy I moved on.

    Best of luck to you.

    • Thank you for your insight and to clarify - it wan't on his Facebook sorry I couldn't write all the details - I found it by stalking his fb through recently added friends this new chick, I saw it on her profile NOT his...

      And well how should I move on I mean I told him to not disrespect or lie to me which he constantly does hence a major reason why I chose to end it. Why does he hate me when I didn't do anything wrong...

      i really want to be friends with him he was my best friend...

    • your asking me a question that YOU need to find the answer for. Do what you want, it's your life. I suggest being around friends who enlighten you and introduce you to other good people so you can have a better understanding of a "best friend". He's obviously not worth it, if all he will do is treat you like crap. So why deal with it? move on.

    • Right, thanks so much again for your insight I'll try :) and I hope you feel better - it nice to hear from a guys pov and especially from someone who can relate.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • just move forward. I understand your desire to reconnect with him in some way but your grasping at a memory and a feeling you had.

    he's angry, probably hurt, but who cares what he's feeling he f*cked up and you made the right decision. don't start seeing yourself as recently broken up but single and getting ready to meet someone else. As long as you're hanging on this idea that things are going to get fixed you aren't going to be able to move forward and see all the possibilities that are out there for you. I've been where you are and believe it's d*mn hard if not impossible to go back again.


What Girls Said 3

  • try to move on

  • fill your life with activities and try to move on.

  • When a couple breaks up and gets back together again it weakens the relationship. Eventually it will weaken beyon repair and people STILL stay with each other. They'll still miserable in love and miss out on a lot in life because of there unwillingness to see things as they are, chalk it up as a loss, and move on.

    Think of a relationship like a mirror. When it's new it's bright and shiny and you can see everything clearly. As it ages, it'll acquire some scratches and will become slightly dull but as long as it doesn't break, you can still see yourself. Once the mirror breaks, it's in many pieces. So when you try to 'repair' the mirror (relationship) you can glue the pieces back together, but it will NEVER be as solid as it was to begin with, and images are now distorted.

    Break up AGAIN, and the mirror shatters into even smaller pieces and some go missing, after repair the mirror is glued back together, but looks even LESS like it did in original form. Eventually the mirror breaks so many times, the pieces are too fragmented and too many missing, that the mirror cannot be repaired.

    Sounds like you recognized this happening and decided to call it quite 'for good' this time (so you say) even though you ended your statement saying you would hope to be with him again someday. The mirror is broken, what you two were, will never be again. Please walk away before all you can recognize are broken pieces, allow yourself to accept that this part of your life is over, and spare the good memories.

    Yes he is moving on, you told him it would never be, so what else would you expect him to do? Just because you know it doesn't work btwn the two of you, doesn't mean it'll be easy to see him with someone else. That's your ego, it's not fun to think you can be 'replaced'. Let him go, quit trying to contact him, it really is over and if it isn't, you're just starting the nasty cycle all over again, how much more time will you waste? (of your own)


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