There's a guy who I have been friends with benefits with for a while and there is obvious feelings between both of us. So much for sticking with our agreement in the beginning. But regardless, is it alright for me as the girl to make the first move towards a relationship? and if so any advice on how to do that?
Most Helpful Guy
Yes it's alright for you to make the first move towards a relationship. But I want you to know, that it might not work out. Not because you're the girl, and not because girls can't make a first move. I really want you to know that now.
But no, the reason it might not work out, is because you are both in a FWB relationship, and when one person develops feelings, there's always a chance the other person will still reject the idea of it getting more real than that. A lot of the time people start these things out of convenience, and have the mentality they don't want complications (like feelings, for example), just to avoid the risk of getting hurt.
The problem is this. See, most of these FWB arrangements end for any one or more of the following reasons.
1: They didn't set up rules, guidelines and boundaries, and somebody does something to offend somebody else.
2: They did set up rules, but somebody does something to break the rules and again, someone gets pissed off.
3: Somebody finds somebody else, and it's over like that.
4: It just ends, without warning.
5: It fizzles or fades out, with no fanfare and they both drift.
6: One person develops feelings for the other, and the other person can't take that.
7: Both develop feelings, but neither party can deal with that, and they split.
8: One or both develop feelings, and they make a go at an exclusive relationship.
People in this FWB setup develop feelings, quite a lot though. It's common. See, if you can get past all the other stuff, and the rules, and you two are still hanging out, still having sex, then it's pretty common for this to happen. Sex can form emotional attachments. There are a lot of people who do this. It just happens. So don't be surprised that your "agreement from the beginning" didn't stick, because if you really thought this would work out without any one of those eight listed things happening, you're kidding yourself. Sorry.
Back on track though, you can TOTALLY make the first move. If he isn't doing it, then all the more reason you do it. Just know, that it might not work out like you want. That's why I told you all this. Prepare yourself for the worst, but go in hoping for the best.