Girls who insist that guys make the first move... why?

I notice some girls are absolutely adamant about the guy making the first move. Why is this? I am OK with making the first move and all but I would rather make the first move on a girl who is worth it and I find that girls who are not open to showing interest in a man tend to be very self-centered. Are girls like this just terrified of rejection and insecure? What's the deal?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't like to make the first move. I like to showing interest but I feel a little of my femininity has been taken if I do. It's like the other girl said we were brought up that way. It's like if a girl you like was carrying a heavy box for example and you offered to carry it for her you would want her to let you do that. A little masculinity coming from you. However if she took it straight back off you and said no I will carry it myself wouldn't you feel a bit useless about it. Basically I like the man to adopt the masculine role and I like to adopt the feminine role right from the start!

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    • Also another reason is having had mainly male friends in my time I have always been told a women chooses a man a man don't choose a women and therfore they always settle for what's on offer. I want a man to choose me! And not just because he can.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I like tradition and I have always viewed men as the dominant ones who should court a woman. I have nothing against men who won't ask a woman out or adhere to certain gender roles, but I know they are not for me.

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  • In my case that is true. I see a lot of hot guys I want to talk to, but I fear that if I try to talk to them they might reject me. I hate rejection! I'm also very traditional, the guy is supposed to come and woo me!

    ; )

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  • Haha, You are the guy that almost attacked me at one of this gag post. I don't think you are OK with it, because you wouldn't post about it. I think you should calm down a little. The first move thing isn't so important in the society today, but I has been like this in many years, and for some random reason it hasn't change that much. And just because guys take the first move doesn't mean the girl is self-centered person or not worth it (guys are also very self-centered too.. and get creeped out when a girl gets to needy). I believe that it takes two to tango and if I really wanted a guy I would make the first move, but most girls are used to a guy taking the first move. That is how it always has been. . If you don't like that, then you can complain about it to your next girlfriend, maybe she will let you be the "self-centered" person as you describe girls that don't take the first move :) good luck.

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    • Your username don't ring a bell. My posts are pretty plain. Your emotions would have to be worked up to see an "attack." It's far from a complaint. Just an observation I have noticed and I am asking what goes through their mind and saying what I see. I even say I am OK with making the first move. I even had an ex insist on guys making the first move so I was curious.

  • i think its old fashioned but if the girls wants it that way you shouldn't really say anything. go find other girls.

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  • i don't like it, it just isn't my thing

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  • because we were brought up that way

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What Guys Said 5

  • Women generally are attracted to brave, dominant men who are willing to take risks. Simple as that.

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  • Girls have made they're first move on me, it rarely happens but it happens, consider yourself very lucky if one approaches you.

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  • I don't know why and I don't really care. I only see the benefits for men in this system. Your common girls aren't approached as much as it's acceptable to think. Girls are approached only like 5 times a year, something like that. It doesn't happen every day to them.

    Therefore as men we have that power to be "that guy" that will approach them during that average month and a half period. They're more grateful to you for your effort than you might realize. And if you play the right cards - you can truly achieve great experiences with women.

    The initiative is ours. We don't need to wait months to have chances but have them every day. But of course - with great power comes great responsibility. You need to learn to embrace that responsibility with all the hardships it includes.

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    • yeah but girls have the final say, they are the ones that decide whether a date or relationship is gonna happen, not us guys, yes I know they can't have the final say if we guys don't approach or ask out, but still, the ultimate goal is getting a Yes

    • Obviously, you need two to tango. But within the narrow frame of what you said there's a wide range of things we can do to reach the ladies and increase greatly the chances of receiving a "yes".

    • yeah, well the list of things that turn women off is far longer than vice-versa, the other way around

  • stupid gender stereotypes

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  • sick and tired of how it has to be this way, how people stubbornly argue and insist that it is the masculine, manly thing to do, don't get it, not enough logic there

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