Have you ever had a relationship that has ended because you or your signficant other has had depression?

If so, what happened before/during/after the break up?

Long story short, my ex boyfriend said he feels he can't make anyone happy when he isn't happy himself. He hinted at a break up, so I decided to end it even though I didn't want to, but I thought it would be best for his healing. We have kept in light contact since, and I'm trying to be supportive to him as friend for the time being. I am just wondering if I am doing the best thing for his healing? And if so, what the chances of us getting back together are...

Thanks in advance for all of your help! I will try my best to help you with your questions as well! :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was just dumped for not being able to fix a moderate anxiety disorder fast enough ... It is really tough and really disheartening, but it's the hard truth.

    I think people who struggle with anxiety and depression know that, inevitably, their partner is going to leave them if they can't function like an average person. It's hard to meet the needs of a romantic partner when you are having a hard time meeting your own needs. Ideally, that person could help you get better, but in reality, most people don't have the patience when there are so many better options out there.

    He will have to heal himself, whether you're together or not. That's really all it boils down to. Generally, it's something you have to learn to live with and can't "cure"... which makes it harder.

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    • Yeah, I understand that completely. I am a psychology major so I have patience and knowledge to help him, but I understand that I can't be his therapist and his girlfriend at the same time. I am just worried that I made things worse by breaking up with him, because I know he is really sad right now.

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    • He'll have to learn that he has to communicate clearly. He can't expect you to be a mind reader. It sounds like staying in touch can help the two of you sort through this. Good luck. :)

    • Thanks, I think he was afraid to hurt me because he already broke up with me once before because he was stressed. He mainly can't handle the 'pressure' of a relationship right now. I hope we stay in touch, I haven't heard from him in a day and I'm waiting for him to reach out to me because I reached out to him last. It feels like I'm playing games and I hate it, I'm not sure if it is the right thing to do since he is ill. Thoughts?

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What Guys Said 3

  • sometimes a cold shower si what people need to change. If a person in depression is not willing to help himself or not willing to let others help him, then you have no choice but to look for yourself and your interests.

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  • If I was in a relationship I'd never be depressed.

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  • i wish a girl would like me :(

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What Girls Said 4

  • My ex had periods of anxiety and depression. I found it hard to deal with his depressed feelings and thoughts at the very beginning, but I soon learned how to deal with it. We were so much in love, but he broke up with me after a year telling me some stupid reasons. Now I realize that although he didn't say it, I think he was too much afraid I would be the one to break up with HIM.

    It is sad to think that a person you love was unhappy before you, with you, and after you. But I know it wasn't about me. It's been a few weeks since our break up and, although we agreed to be friends, we aren't ready yet. A few months of NC is the best thing to do. In your case, light contact is OK, but I would encourage you to go NC in order to heal and see thing from a different perspective.

    What are the chances of you getting back together? Well, nobody knows. I know there's a romantic part of you that wants to be with him again, but often times, what is broken cannot be completely fixed. However, anything's possible and what's meant to be, will be :)

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  • My boyfriend of 2 years had a previous girlfriend when he was very young (age 13). He immediately fell deep in love and one month later she broke up with him which has caused his depression and anxiety. They were on and off after that and at one point he paid $1300 from his own money at 17 to travel across the continent to see her only for the relationship to not last.

    Once I met him, I too developed anxiety which has since gotten A LOT better, basically non-existent and he also tries to deal with his depression and anxiety. There were many times I felt like our relationship would not last because of my anxiety. And once he broke up with his ex-girlfriend he felt like no one could love him with his issues.

    I guess part of the reason his previous relationship did not last was due to his issues. In comparison, when we got together, he said he wouldn't leave me because he knew how bad things could get. Personally, I feel like it would make my already bad anxiety worse if my boyfriend were to leave me because of that.

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  • yes that's why my last relationship ended, because of my depression, ever since I've been working on myself and have not been dating til I know I'm completely better, it's not fair to date someone when you can't give them 100% of you and you are bringing them down. I'm enjoying being single and learning about myself, I'll know when I'm ready to date again and this time I will take care of myself and love myself so that it can be a healthy and thriving relationship.

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  • Yes I broke up with my boyfriend because of depression when I was 18. We were not serious but it was getting serious but he told me he loved me. While I was depressed I met this guy and I cheated on him, and I realized that something was missing from the relationship for me. However, it was not the relationship making me depressed just so I can clear that up. I broke up with him because I felt guilty for cheating on him for my depression and finding comfort in another man. Needless to say I told him the truth that I cheated he was mad, I apologized, and he never spoke to me again. I do not know about your relationship but what I do know is that everything happens for a reason.

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