Is this emotional abuse deliberate. How can someone do this to someone they love?

I have been in an online relationship with a guy for about two years and we have been making plans to meet for real. We have had a few breaks during this time due to his controlling issues, each time its me that's left him for a break. The last time we split he ended it saying he was no good for me. We were separated for about three months during which time I saw him with other women. He refused to take me back. I started to see someone else on a casual basis tho this didn't feel right for me and I was going to end it but as soon as he heard of this he came back after me telling me he loves me. Its all great when we first get back together again but then he will start accusing me of having other relationships or other accounts to go behind his back. I do none of these things but I am seriously starting to think that he does. There is this woman he knew before we got together who he said was just a friend but I know they got together during one of our breaks because her profile said so...he claims he didn't know she had written about them as a couple in her profile. Then we tried again and she appeared in one of his groups again...I told him this was upsetting and he agreed to remove her, it all settled down then a few days later she was back in his group. I don't know why he has to treat me this way I have been nothing but supportive and faithful to him. I don't know if there is something going on with them again or whether he is just doing this to get a reaction but he refuses to acknowledge my worries or concerns and coming from a guy who accuses me of being unfaithful I just don't believe he can't see how this would make me feel. After we had words over her he seems distant like he is deliberately pushing me away. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like he is intentionally hurting me and its so emotionally draining. He won't even discuss it anymore he says if I can't deal with her associated with him then that's my problem. All this coming from a man who insists he loves me is driving me insane. I have never done him any wrong but he accuses me of such terrible things I am beginning to think he does all the things he accuses me of. I am emotionally at rock bottom I don't know how much more I can take. It sometimes feels like he is deliberately punishing me for his behavior s.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Online relationship... are you kidding me?

    You are not experiencing emotional abuse. You're just wrapping yourself up in fictional drama with some "online relationship" and wondering why he is not together with you. Emotional abuse would be if he was telling you you were worthless, calling you all sorts of degrading things, and trying to control you through your insecurities.

    Go try real world interactions. I never understand how people can be so insecure as you have a relationship with someone over the internet.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He doesn't love you, and he's not going to stop with this behavior. Nothing you say or do will change that. Nothing he says will change it either. I am sorry you're having such a difficult time, and I don't know the reason why he's doing what he's doing, but it won't stop. The only way to put an end to it is to cut ties with him. You deserve better, and I hope you find it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • it's not worth it.. why are you doing this to yourself? You deserve someone who will treat you right.

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  • well stop wasting your time find someone on the same town as you and stop talking to the other guy.

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